
I’m a nice person. I truly do not like to horrify people. I would rather not be the inspiration for nightmares in small children. And when a dog runs yelping from me with his tail tucked between his legs, I feel bad.
Which is why I choose not to subject the world to my winter white legs.
The way I see it I have three choices:
1-Keep legs fully covered at all times.
- Pro: Not only does it cover my ghostly white legs, I could conceivably quit shaving.
Con: I already have enough jeans, I wouldn’t
2-Spend some time in a tanning booth.
- Pro: A natural looking, golden tan
Con: Um, cancer
3-Use sunless tanning lotion.
- Pro: If done right, a natural looking golden tan
Con: It’s hard to do right
For some parts of the country you could add a fourth option: sunlight, but here in Oregon, that’s not much of an option. At least not in April.
I choose option three. And I have come up with a couple of tips to keep from looking like an Oompa-Loompa (1971, not 2005).
First exfoliate. I know they say it on the bottle, but it really does bear repeating. Use a loofa or those scrubby gloves in the shower.
After drying off thoroughly, apply self tanning lotion.
I like Nutrogena Gradual Build a Tan. They also make a different formula just for faces. However, there are many good brands out there. Look for one that says gradual or light tan, particularly if you are fair-skinned, like me.
Go easy on knees, elbows, ankles. Think about where a natural tan is darker and apply accordingly. For example inner arm should receive less lotion.
While lotion is still drying, apply cocoa-butter over it. (I like Palmer’s, found at Wal-Mart.) The cocoa-butter does not seem to dilute the tanning lotion, but it does help even it out. Because striped skin? Not cute.
Once you are finished applying coca-butter, wash your hands or you will end up with orange palms. However, unless you like the “white-gloved” look, you’ll need to re-apply the sunless tanning lotion to the backs of your hands. But how? If you use your fingers, you’ll set up a never ending cycle of washing and reapplying. So, don’t use your fingers. Instead apply with a cotton ball or a disposable make-up sponge.
I know sunless tanning can be intimidating, but isn’t it better than the alternatives? (See cons above.)
C’mon, do it for the kids.






