My friend Becky tagged me with a meme and then taunted me by asking if I was woman enough to do it. Then Heather tagged me.
I’ve never done one before because of the whole headline thing. I prefer to tell stories…
But I’m going to do it for the following reasons.
Prepare to be dazzled.
Okay, the above photo was not actually my high-school graduation. That came a year or two later.
This, however is the card my parents gave me on the day I did receive my diploma.
The inside says “…the end is in sight!”
And then there’s the note from Mom:
Dear Heidi,
We are so proud of you and all that you have accomplished and the direction you have taken in your life.
You are a beautiful daughter, inside and out.
I wish we could have given you more for graduation but I guess the car insurance will have to do for now. (They paid my insurance for the following six months. I wasn’t complaining.)
We love you very much. You are a lot of fun to be around. You have a beautiful sense of right and wrong. And you are very strong. Now.
And we are extremely proud of you.
You are a very courageous person. You are bold. Sometimes a little more than expected! But you are one of a kind and I wouldn’t have you any other way.
Thank you for all the lessons you have taught me. One of the biggest ones is respecting your private property! I have learned to do that.
Love Mom and Dad
Mom, I know I said I wasn’t going to post this, but I just couldn’t resist. Lucky for me it wasn’t your private property. 
If you are in the mood for more unscrapable fun, stop by We Are THAT Family and tell them I said hi!
I have noticed this house a few times as I have been out running errands. You can’t see it in the photo but a second sign declares that the chair is “PETE’S CHAIR!”
And I so wanted to sit in it.
The party was over before I knew it had begun.
Sigh.
Over the weekend, Girl Wonder and I watched Babe. You know, the movie about a sheep herding pig?
Something about the tiny piglet triggered a question in the dark recesses of my girl’s little brain.
“Mom, how can you tell if a pig is a boy or a girl?”
Today, I’m going to share with you two offerings from my 100 stories about me. Neither one is funny, but if you’ll stick around, I’ll try to make it worth your while.
#56 I was homeschooled for kindergarten.
My mom and three friends formed a co-op and they each took a week teach all four four children.
I loved it. Highlights were reading bootlegged photocopied Dick and Jane books and craft time. I once made a little man out of a twig. He had a top hat. Good times…
The next year my mom enrolled me in public school. Perhaps it wasn’t the same beautiful experience for her? I’ll have to ask her about that…
My daughter’s kindergarten experience was much different.
Once upon a time there was a Heidi.
Heidi knows that “Heidi” is also a popular dogs’ name. And that you probably have a dog named Heidi. You do not need to tell her about it.
Heidi would like to remind Holly at June Cleaver Nirvana that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
This is Shasta.
Shasta came home with Heidi from the farm. She likes to run. Fast.
Shasta is on trial. She has not yet earned the title My Dog. Instead we are calling her My Brother’s Dog That We Are Babysitting.
Today Heidi bought three tickets to Cancun was expecting Terminex to come take care of the vermin that were eating her house. The vermin were not named Hansel or Gretel. They were named Termite and Carpenter Ant.
Terminex arrived between the hours of late and very late.
Heidi had been too afraid to shower, lest she miss the knock at the door.
When the hired killer pest technician finally knocked, Heidi opened the door. Shasta mistook the knock for opportunity and ran for it.
Shasta ran.
Heidi ran.
Shasta ran faster.
Heidi finally caught Shasta when Shasta came back on her own.
Heidi scooped up Shasta and walked back to the house where the Terminex man, who had not been helpful at all, was waiting.
And then Heidi and the Terminex man sat down at her table to do paperwork.
And Heidi had to pretend it was perfectly normal to be covered in dirt and that blood was not running into her sock.
While you are here, don’t forget to enter to win a copy of #1 New York Times best seller “The Host” signed by the author, Stephenie Meyer.
Today’s offering for Sincerely ‘Fro Me to You is this (ahem) little beauty:
I am eating a piece of deep fried alligator tail while on vacation. For some reason, I wanted to document this event for posterity. As you can see, I am sporting a couple of extra chins. This look was all the rage in 1998.
Wasn’t it?
On December 4th, 1998, I was a full 30 pounds heavier than my wedding day three years earlier. By this time I had been trying to get pregnant for two years and eight months. At first I didn’t care what I ate “because I’ll just get fat when I’m pregnant and have to lose it after”. Mature, wasn’t I? But as time wore on I ate out of depression. Mostly depression that I still wasn’t pregnant, but also because I just kept getting bigger. Vicious cycle, no?
This vacation was a low point for me. I think I wore overalls or my husband’s shorts the whole time…
About a year later I went on the Body For Life program and lost all the extra weight.
Since we have moved here, my weight has been slowly creeping up. Nothing dramatic, yet, but it will be if I don’t get a handle on it.
I think the problem is our mirror…
Seriously.
We bought a fat mirror. Everyone looks terrible in it. So when I’d look it and see some extra b&b (bootie and belly) I’d think, “It’s just the mirror.” But when the mirror made it impossible to button a pair of pants, I began to suspect a problem.
And because of my goldfish theory, I can’t buy new pants.
Never heard of it?
Basically it’s like this. If you remove a goldfish from a small bowl into a larger bowl, it grows. Goldfish’ (goldfishes?) size increase to fit their environment.
So does my butt.
If I move it to a bigger pair of pants, it will only grow.
But maybe it’s only my mirror after all…
See We are THAT Family for more photos that should never see the light of day.
Contest closed. Congratulate the winner here.
This week’s offering from my list of 100 things stories about me:
#65: I love to read and always have.
My love of books started way back as a very young child when I’d beg my mom to read The Velveteen Rabbit to me every night before bed. This particular book made such an impression on me that I privately began referring to my bedroom as the nursery and sometimes imagined my mom was Nana. Any illness had the romantic potential of becoming a fever. And I knew with the certainty of childhood that all of my toys could become real if only I loved them hard enough.
For more pictures without words see 5 Minutes for Mom.
WFMW tip: A swim cap not only keeps hair dry, it also will prevent goggles from tangling in it. (Not that you really need goggles on a slip n’ slide…but she looks cute.)
For more tips and tricks stop by Rocks in My Dryer and tell them I said hi.
