My mom is more confused than your mom… but she doesn't know why

In the tradition of sharing really bad pictures of me I offer you this:

Yes, my hair does look better than in yesterday’s post; my mom had long since been banned from touching it. But even so, there is no getting around that this is an unflattering picture.
My mom is posing for the camera, though she forgot to put in her tooth. She is just happy to be holding my tiny Girl Wonder.
My sister and I are pee-your-pants laughing, probably at something our mom said.
She says funny hilarious things all the time. The problem is, she doesn’t mean to.
I’ve already blogged about the prosthetic/prostate mix-up.
Here are a few more in that vein:
Mom had been suffering from periodontal disease (hence the missing tooth in the photo) though at the time the ailment was referred to as pyria.
She made an appointment with a new dentist for a check-up. Midway through the exam, my mom interrupted him to ask, “Do I still have gonorrhea?”
What else could the poor man do other than to reply, “I can’t tell from here.”

And then there was the time when my mom spent the entire day at the genealogical library. She was doing something called “extractions”. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I think it has to do with copying information from microfiche.
Anyway, when she got home she called her friend Judy. (We were always cracking up over Judy too because she often got as confused as my mom. Listening to them talk to each other was always entertaining.)
Here’s how the conversation went:
Judy: Hi Charlene. Where’ve you been all day? I’ve been trying to call you.
Mom: Oh! I just spent the whole day at the gynecologist. I’m tired.
Judy: What? Is everything okay.
Mom: Oh, yes. It was actually a wonderful experience, but I was there for seven hours. I even brought my own lunch.
Judy: Seven hours! What in the world were you doing?
Mom: Extractions.

Once my brother thought he was having a heart attack, but it turned out to be angina.
Can you guess what my mom told poor Judy?
Yup, you guessed it.
Judy said, “Well, to discover that he had one of those after all these years. No wonder it about gave him a heart attack.”

If you enjoyed these stories, be sure to read the check out my My Mom’s Funnier Than Your Mom series. I’m blogging funny stories about her all week.

When you are done, go see We Are THAT Family for more funny pictures that should never, ever be scrapbooked.