It happened in the car on a Sunday evening, nearly a year ago. Our family was driving home from the Washington DC LDS Temple visitor’s center. They have a fantastic Christmas Festival of Lights. All was quiet, peaceful.
And then, out of the blue, our daughter asked a question, the question, really.
I was totally unprepared for:
Mom, how do babies get inside their mommy’s tummy?
!?!
Where did that come from?! Was it the live nativity? And how the heck am I supposed to answer a seven year old?
I tried to compose my thoughts while flashes of my own awkward introduction to this subject ran through my head:
My brother innocently looks up from his dinner and asks, “What’s sperm?”
SILENCE.
My mom, flustered and embarrassed, herds the two of us children away from the table, leaving our dad to eat alone. We cluster into my bedroom, shut the door, and listen as Mom chokes out a confusing explanation about a man planting a seed. Who was this man? A farmer? And why did my mom want to keep him a secret from my dad?…
Here is essentially what I said: “Heavenly Father has prepared a special way for a man and a woman to make a baby. He wants them to use it after they are married. The man puts a seed in a woman’s body and it grows into a baby.”
Dang, I brought up the seed; it’s that crazy farmer all over again! What was I thinking?
Mr. Frantic was shaking with silent laughter as I tried to be casual. No discomfort here. Nope. Not at all.
I asked my daughter if that answered her question and she said…
“no”.
crap!
As I tried to think of what else to say (the mom and dad fit together like a puzzle?) she changed the subject. When I asked her asked her if she still wanted to talk about babies she said no.
Great. Me neither.
We rode the rest of the way home in silence.
A few days later, after the initial panic had subsided, I brought up the subject again. I calmly, yet simply detailed the mechanics while also explaining our family’s moral stand on S-E-X.
She asked a couple of questions and I answered them without fear or embarrassment.
Yay me!
I even had the presence of mind to explain that this topic was very special and other kids needed to learn about it from their parents, not from her, so she should not try to educate the her friends. Please.

Fast forward several months. I learned the disturbing news that many girls now may begin puberty as early as age 8!
And, I won’t get into specifics here, but I suspect that my girl may be an early bloomer in that department.
I’ve been meaning to talk to her about what changes are in store for her.
Once again flashback to horribly embarrassing health class films about Your Changing Body.
Gag!
Yes it was awful, but it saved me my mom the horror of a discussion at home.
But I homeschool now. There is no one else to do this one for me. I needed to talk to her myself, and preferably in a way that would not cause us to begin avoiding eye contact.
This afternoon she asked me why girls don’t get big adam’s apples.
It was time.
Readers, you would have been so proud of me! I continued making dinner as I explained that girls’ and boys’ bodies go through some different changes on their way to becoming men and women. I did not choke on the words “breasts” or “menstruate”. I pretended like they were perfectly normal pre-dinner discussion topics.
And when words did not suffice I pulled out our trusty little white board and drew a picture of the female reproductive system.
Oh, yes I did.
We discussed what happens to an egg on its journey to becoming a baby or, um, not a baby.
I positively waxed eloquent.
When I was finished speaking I asked the golden question.
“Is there anything else you want to know?”
“Yeah. Why does your drawing look like a dog with earrings?”
Where is a health teacher when you need one?

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Works for Me Wednesday hosted by Rocks in my Dryer