The contest is now closed. Winners will be announced Monday.

Need to catch up on your work? Past posts in the Family Work series:
Principles and Vision
If Mama Ain’t Happy
Are My Kids Allergic to Work? {link up}
Chore Charts and Other Motivators {link up}
Family Work: Allowance – To Pay or Not To Pay (5 Reasons You May Want to Reconsider Paying Children to do Chores) {link up}
Teaching Children Adult Skills
And though not specifically about work, you won’t want to miss Nicholeen Peck’s guest post on Teaching Self Government. If you are looking for ways to reinforce the rules you have set, build stronger relationships, and react with calmness in your family, her post is a must read.

Welcome to my last post in the Family Work Series. It’s been a great experience for me to share what I know and to learn so much from you in your posts and comments. Thank you for being here with me; it’s an honor.
Today we are going to have some fun.

When is work not work?  When it is play!

I love Tom Sawyer. The amount of effort he puts into getting out of work cracks me up – he is so much like a real boy. I really enjoy the creativity Tom shows when he gets the other boys to white wash his fence. To him, it was a dreadful chore; to them it was a game.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. And this would help [Tom Sawyer] to understand why constructing artificial flowers or performing on a treadmill is work, while rolling ten pins or climbing Mount Blanc is only amusement. There are wealthy gentlemen in England who drive four-horse passenger-coaches twenty or thirty miles on a daily line, in the summer, because the privilege costs them considerable money; but if they were offered wages for the service, that would turn it into work and they would resign.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain

Tom was not adverse to labor, he just wanted it to be labor of his own choosing. (This is demonstrated later in the book when he and Huck, for fun, spend days in the broiling summer sun, using a pick-axe and shovel to dig for treasure.)
Children today are no different. I haven’t met a kid yet that wouldn’t like to dig holes in the yard, make mud pits, or hammer and saw, if given the chance. The trick is, kids only view those things as play when they are allowed to choose to do them.
Now maybe you are thinking, “That’s great, but I don’t want a bunch of holes in my yard.” I agree that there need to be boundaries set, but could you consider giving one small corner of your yard to the kids to use as they please? My friend once told me about a man she knew who said, “I could have a great yard, but I’m not raising grass. I’m raising boys.”
I feel that it is important to give kids opportunities to play at work. Let them feel the satisfaction of blisters and sore muscles gained while doing something they enjoy. Later when you have work that needs to be done, perhaps they will have a greater appreciation for it.
Of course, there are some jobs that your child might enjoy even if you ask them to participate.
Here are some ideas of when work is play:

• *Pet care
• Cooking or baking
• Washing the car
• Building a tree house, dog house or even a bird house
• Home repairs: painting, power washing the siding or deck, tightening hinges
• Car maintenance: check the oil, change a tire, pump the gas
• Planting a garden
• Sewing, knitting or other handcrafts

*In one of the workshops I have taught on Family Work, an attendee shared a great idea on cutting down the “it’s not my turn to take care of the dog” arguments. Every week, the dog would change owners. No – not to a new family, but to a different child in their family. When you are the “dog owner of the week”, you are responsible for feeding, walking, cleaning up after, etc. But you also get to have all of the privileges: the dog gets to sleep with you and you receive one less chore in other household areas to give you more time for pet care. I thought it was a brilliant idea.

Homework: This Labor Day weekend, find some kind of labor to engage in with your kids, but make it fun. Having a barbeque? Why not have a corn shucking contest, too? Plant some lettuce for your winter garden. Take advantage of the sales at the home stores and make something together (this play tent looks like a fun idea). We are planning on having a car wash and water fight. What will you do? Answer that question in the comments for a chance to win one of the following prizes:

Labor Day Work Party ~ Prizes to Win

Nicholeen Peck is sponsoring this giveaway with a copy of her book: Parenting A House United: Changing Children’s Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self Government. I’m not exaggerating to say that this book will change your life, and your family’s lives for the better. Applying the principles she teaches has made a huge impact on my family, and I am really excited to be able to share with you.

Parenting A House United is based on Nicholeen’s popular seminar series Teaching Self-Government.  This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach children to govern themselves.  With the proper family envioronment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier.    Nicholeen’s candid story telling style and experience with tough teens makes the book usable and a joy for all to read.  Even if you have heard Nicholeen speak before you can’t pass this book up.  It promises new stories, examples, valuable question and answer and further insights never before shared.  It is sure to be an valuable family handbook.

Who wouldn’t mind finding adorable dust bunnies like these around the house?

Sarah from Sarahndipities on etsy is sponsoring this giveaway with a crocheted dust bunny.
Item description:Does your house pass the white glove test? Do you have dust bunnies under your bed? Do you need someone to help you do some spring cleaning?
This little crochet dust bunny may not be able to do the dishes or declutter, but he’s sure to put a smile on your face!
He has shiny black safety eyes and is made from super soft and furry acrylic yarn and stuffed with polyester fiberfill. He has fluffy yarn whiskers and floppy fuzzy ears. Looks so cute perched on a dresser or desk. Makes a great gift for a coworker, friend or baby! Each bunny measures approximately 3″ in diameter with 1.5″ ears.
Sarah has lots of other great crocheted items and patterns for sale in her shop. I am in love with this hat. Be sure to pop over and take a look.

With colors so bright, these eco-scrubbies can’t help but make doing the dishes fun.

Jane at Earth to Gert on etsy is sponsoring this giveaway with two eco-scrubbies (one each to two winners).
Item description:This eco-scrubby™ (handmade in the U.S.A.) is what your cleaning routine has been missing. Scrub pots and pans and sinks and showers and windows and counters and boots and buckets – until your eco-scrubby™ is dirty. Then just toss it in the washer, let air dry, and it is ready for your next dirty job. My personal scrubby is five years old and still going strong. Minimize disposable waste products associated with your everyday chores with an eco-scrubby! (Safe on teflon, does not mildew.)
In addition to the scrubbies, Earth to Gert sells great bags, journals and cards and all of her items are earth friendly.

Speaking of making work fun, can’t you just see your little girl begging to dust with one of these?

Lori, from Handcrafts by Lori on etsy is sponsoring this giveaway with one of her Cleaning Dust Mitts.
Item description:This upcycled cleaning mitt is made from sweater cuffs, leftover fleece from my sewing projects, and a terry towel. Help the environment and save on paper towels by using this sturdy washable cleaning mitt.
Be sure to stop by Lori’s shop and see what other fun things she has made.

What do you get when you cross a chore chart with a game? Something brilliant:

Susan from Elephant Tales on etsy is sponsoring this giveaway with one of her awesome chore dice.
Item description: This jumbo sized 2 1/2 inch die will be a big hit with the kids when chores typically aren’t. My kids love rolling for their chores and this die has perfectly rounded edges which makes it great for rolling!
Here’s how it works. Each side of the die contains a chore. There’s enough room to put 2-3 chores on each side if you prefer. The font will just be smaller. Each child rolls the die daily. If the 2nd child rolls the same chore, he/she gets to roll again. Want to make it really exciting? Have one side of the die say NO CHORES!
If you are the winner, you will be able to choose what chores you would like listed on the die as well as any color choices you would like for the sides.
See Susan’s shop for baby gifts, tooth fairy bottles, jewelry and more. (I’ve got my eye on this pen.)

That’s a total of six prizes, one each to six lucky winners.

To enter this giveaway, just answer this question in the comments:
What kind of fun labor will your family do this weekend?
If you don’t know, feel free to say “I don’t know” or just go ahead and make something up.

That’s it. No need to tweet this, share on facebook, like me, or jump through a burning hoop – but you are welcome to do any of those things if you like. Just be careful with the burning hoop thing.
If you have linked your blog to any of the link-ups in the family work series, you automatically received one entry. Leave a comment for a second chance.

Anyone is eligible to win the book (thanks, Nicholeen!). The esty items are open to US residents only.

Prizes will be awarded at random Friday, September 9th at 10:00 am PST.
Good luck!
Pst – I hope you win. You’re my favorite reader! Don’t tell the others.

Thank you to all of the sponsors of this giveaway. Please be sure to hop on over to their sites and see all of the wonderful things they have to offer.

Need to catch up on your work? Past posts in the Family Work series:
Principles and Vision
If Mama Ain’t Happy
Are My Kids Allergic to Work? {link up}
Chore Charts and Other Motivators {link up}
And though not specifically about work, you won’t want to miss Nicholeen Peck’s guest post on Teaching Self Government.
If you haven’t already, please take some time to go visit (and comment on) the posts of those who have linked up. And remember, our September 2 Family Work post is a work-party. I’ve lined up some fun prizes to give away. Anyone who links up will automatically be entered to win.

Allowance, to Pay or Not to Pay

I’m firmly in the Give an Allowance Camp. Kids who don’t learn about money run the risk of becoming adults who make poor money decisions. A child who is allowed some spending money, taught how to use it, and allowed to make mistakes with it, is learning valuable lessons. Like: if I spend all my money on candy today, I’ll never be able to save enough for the game I really want.
I like allowance.  However, here is where my fellow Allowance Campers and I may disagree.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to pay children to do their chores.
Wait, before you take away my s’mores and kick me out of camp, hear me out.

Five Good Reasons Why You May Want to Reconsider Paying Children for Chores*

1. Money eclipses other good reasons for doing work and becomes the main motivator.
I mentioned this last week when we were talking about incentives for chore charts. Work can be rewarding in its own right. Children receive a sense of accomplishment, pride and increased self-confidence for a job well-done. Children also really do want to please their parents (even if they act otherwise). Putting a monetary value on chores overshadows all of those other things. They begin to work for the dollar instead of your praise.
In Freakonomics, the authors talk about a study done at several day care centers. Each center had a few parents that would habitually arrive late to pick up their children. The day cares decided to impose a monetary penalty on the parents if they were more than a few minutes late. To their surprise, the cash penalty caused the number of parents picking up late to increase. It was determined that once there was money involved it overshadowed the moral reasons for being on time. Instead there was a feeling of, this is okay because I’m only out a little bit of money.
The same can happen with chores. Contrast a child who thinks, “If I don’t clean up after my dog today, my mom might be unhappy with me” to one who thinks “If I don’t clean up after my dog today, I won’t get my dollar”. If that child decides they don’t really need a dollar today, it’s not so hard to decide not to do it.
That brings me to the next reason.
2. Paying for chores implies that the child can choose whether or not to do them.
Of course they can choose either way, right? But there is a big difference between “I have to do my chores because my parents expect each member of the family to do their part” and “I have to do my chores if I want money.” Sometimes the desire to not do the chores will be greater than the desire for money.
3. It creates a spirit of competition over cooperation.
Children are far less likely to help each other when there is money involved. Say you tell your family, “As soon as we all get done cleaning the living room, we’ll go to the park.”
If children are used to being paid for their work, you may begin to hear this: “I’m done with my jobs. I won’t help you unless you give me x amount of dollars.”
If money is not involved, the children may be more willing to help each other get done for the reward of going to the park.
4. Having to pay for chores reinforces the idea that “housework” is menial.
Have you ever heard a child ask “How much will you pay me to do this?” When children are asked to serve their families without compensation, the work is elevated.
We do these things because we love each other, because we take pride in our home and yard, because it feels good to create something lovely not because we are paid servants.
This goes along with the next point -
5. It teaches a love for money, not for the work, or the family the work benefits.
Think back to your vision. Do any of these points resonate?
Bonus Reason: Eventually children get old enough to begin earning money elsewhere and their motivation to earn money for chores at home decreases dramatically.

That’s not to say I think children should not be given opportunities to earn money at home. They should. But for extra (non-required) work.
I’m currently reading Cheaper by the Dozen, by Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. The parents had a genius idea for extra work that needed to be done around their place – a closed bid system. They would approach their children with a job, say, painting the fence. Any interested parties would write down what they would be willing to do the job for, seal it in an envelope and turn it in. The parents would go with the lowest bid. It worked well until the kids got together and started fixing prices.
Here’s how we do it. We give our daughter an allowance of $10 per month ($1 for every year of her age). She gives $1 to the church and the rest is hers to spend or save as she will. Of course, we encourage her to save, but allow her to make mistakes (and feel the result of them). If she is invited to a birthday party, she picks out a gift and pays half of the price (I pay the other half).
If she wants to earn extra money, my husband and I look to see if there is extra work that can be done and we make her an offer. She is also encouraged to look for other earning opportunities.
For example: a couple of years ago, she decided she wanted to save up for a wii. At the time she was being paid only $8 a month allowance, with 80 cents going to her church donation. $7.20 a month does not add to $200 very quickly, so she asked for extra work. We had a big weedy patch behind our house and we offered her a couple of dollars for every 5 gallon bucket she filled with weeds. She earned a little bit more for reorganizing cupboards and closets.
She also asked her grandma if there was work that could be done at her house. In exchange for some cleaning, our daughter was given all the soda cans in the her grandma’s garage ($35 dollars worth!). Little by little, her money grew. After seven months of extra work (and saving her birthday money) she had enough to buy that wii. All that she did to earn it meant something to her. She was so proud. We were too.

Homework: Evaluate your current allowance system in light of your long term vision for your home. Are they in line? If not, what steps can you make to change? Journal Page PDF

Your Turn: How do your kids earn money? Do you have a system?
What do you think about paying kids to do chores? Do you disagree with me?
I’d love to hear your point of view. Please link to your blog post (old or new) with a back link to this post. Or tell me in the comments or on facebook. Then go visit (and comment on) these posts:

*A few of the reasons for not paying a child to do chores were inspired by Kathleen Bahr, 2004 BYU Women’s Conference, “Rejoice in His Labour”.
I am using Amazon Affliate links. If you use one of my links to purchase a book from amazon, I get a small commission. Thanks.
Linked with Works for Me Wednesday

If you missed last week, catch up here: Family Work: Week 1
Last week we started talking about how to make lasting changes in our family. We don’t want to just jump in and start giving new orders. We have to start with principles – why the change is important. Then move on to vision – what it is that you really want to accomplish.

Last weekend, I attended the funeral of a dear friend’s husband. As my friend bravely gave his eulogy she shared a wonderful story. One evening after a long day at work, she found him sitting on the couch with his eyes closed. She suggested that if he was tired he should just go to bed. He replied “I’m not tired; I’m building a new tv cabinet.” My friend explained that that was the reason his projects were always so beautiful – he built them in his head first. In other words, he had vision.
How did your homework go? Were you able to begin creating a vision for your family and home?  I hope that you are enjoying building a family culture that values work. For this is where it starts – in your head.
Before we move on to talk about planning and implementation, we need to spend some time talking about one other very important thing.
You.
Consider this:

Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.

James 3:4 KJV

image via google images

You are the helm.
Your attitudes will influence and direct your families actions.
Will your family sail or sink?

In other words:
If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
It might seem unfair, but merely by our example, we mothers have an extraordinary amount of influence over our families and their attitudes about things.
Do you hate housework? Do you dread having to figure out what’s for dinner again?
If so, it sounds like you are pretty normal. Everyone feels that way at times. But each of us must realize that those negative attitudes about family work— family service, teach our children that the work is undesirable.
Years ago, I read a lovely little book that greatly influenced many of the attitudes I have about the work of mothering. In Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry the author, Katrina Kennison, relates a pivotal experience in her life. She was a friend and colleague to fellow writer Olive Ann Burns (author of Cold Sassy Tree). Olive Ann had been in the midst of writing a sequel to Cold Sassy Tree when she passed away after more than a decade of battling cancer. Katrina was going through Olive Ann’s manuscript when she found this handwritten note:

I have learned to quit speeding through life, always trying to do too many things too quickly, without taking the time to enjoy each day’s doings. I think I always thought of real living as being high. I don’t mean on drugs— I mean real living was falling in love, or when I got my first job, or when I was able to help somebody, or watch my baby get born, or have a good morning or really good writing. In between the highs I was impatient— you know how it is— life seemed so Daily. Now I love the dailiness. I enjoy washing dishes. I enjoy cooking. I see my father’s roses out the kitchen window, I like picking beans. I notice everything— birdsongs, the clouds, the sound of wind, the glory of sunshine after two weeks of rain. These things I took for granted before.

What a profound impact this had on Katrina, and as I read them, me as well.
How would you feel about the service you give your family— the meals that must be prepared, the floors that must be swept, the laundry that must be folded, if you knew that those things were numbered. What if you knew that there would come a time when you would no longer be able to do these things for your family? Would that change the way you felt about them?
Now I’m not saying that life needs to look like this:

via google images

But if we can each find a way to celebrate the dailiness in our own lives, to take joy in our work, and do it with love, how powerful will that be in the lives of our children*?
Sometimes it’s not that we hate serving our family, it’s that we feel overwhelmed. The work seems too big, too overwhelming. I really do understand that as well. I did not learn to care for my home and family while I was growing up. The first four years my husband and I were married we did not own a vacuum cleaner – I borrowed my mom’s…two times. I know what it is like to look at a mess and not have any idea where to start. If you feel the same way, might I suggest you look into flylady or some other such system? (If you know of another good resource, please share it in the comments.)
Now, back to vision— while you are building your ideal in your mind, be sure to be kind to yourself. Visualize becoming the best example, best leader that you can be.
If you are married or co-parenting, once you have created a vision for yourself and family, share it with your partner. If your vision is different than his, that could be a good thing. The things that he can add may add a richness and level of detail you would not be able to envision on your own.
If your visions are vastly different and feel problematic, find the commonalities and build from there. If there are things that you find unacceptable, or vise versa, remember that you are partners and try to work together anyway. Compromise where you can and realize that your love and respect will go a lot further to bring you together than frustrated decisiveness.
Let’s refer back to the chart one more time:

After your vision is clear (Did you write it down? Have you shared it?) you can begin to to formulate your plan. The rest of this series will give you tips, ideas and things to think about building into your plan. Your plan does not have be detailed or exhaustive. In fact, it can be quite small to begin with. (See today’s homework.)
The next step in the cycle is implementation, but not all at once – just one degree at a time. In Raving Fans the author talks about implementing your vision 1% at a time. I was talking about that with my husband and he referred me to this video:

I like the idea of implementing or changing 1° at a time. With percents, you are working toward 100 – or perfection. I don’t think that perfection is attainable for us mere mortals. But changing or improving, bit by bit – by degrees, anyone can do that. It’s such a small increment, really quite manageable, but as the video shows, so powerful.
As we continue with the series, I hope that you will be able to start formulating a plan.
This Week’s Homework (download your family work journal here):

• Refer back to the list of three things you would like to see change. (You did make a list, right? If not make one now.) Truthfully ponder if a change in your attitude will make a difference. I want to be clear – I am not saying that all problems are the mother’s fault. There are a lot of factors at play in families. However, it is worth asking the question: Can I make one small change that will help my family begin getting closer to my vision?
• Identify one thing that you enjoy when it comes to serving your family.  What is it?  Baking cookies?  Ironing?  Gardening?  Share that thing with your children/family this week (either by telling them about it, or even better – doing it together).
• Share this series with someone: tweet, stumble, like or just tell someone about it.  Post a button on your site, if you like.

<br /><a href="http://www.franticallysimple.com/category/family-work/"><img src="http://www.franticallysimple.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/family-work-button1.jpg" /></a>

Note: Next week we will be talking about how to teach your kids to work: tricks and tips and age appropriate chores. I’d love to hear from you. I’ll be putting together a link-up, so if you blog, write a new post or find one in your archives and get ready to share it. If you don’t blog, please feel free to share on Frantically Simple’s Facebook Page.

I’d like to leave you with a few more words from Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry:

“Like all mothers, I harbor dreams for my children, and sometimes I fall under the spell of my own aspirations for them. We want our children to do well! But when I stop and think about what I truly want for them, I know that it is not material wealth or academic brilliance or athletic prowess. My deeper hope is that each of my sons will be able to see the sacred in the ordinary; that they, too, will grow up knowing how to “love the dailiness”. So, for their sakes as well as my own, I remind myself to slow down and enjoy the day’s doings. The daily rhythms of life, the humble household rituals, the nourishment I provide—these are my offerings to my children, given with love and gratefully received.
When I stop speeding through life, I find the joy in each day’s doings, in the life that cannot be bought, but only discovered, created, savored, and lived. – Katrina Kennison”

*Another great book on this theme, is The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less. (A mouthful, I know). This the true story of Evelyn Ryan, 1950s housewife and mother of 10. Her husband does not earn enough to keep the family afloat financially, and yet still insists on drinking half his paycheck. But Evelyn chooses happiness anyway. Between endless batches of laundry, and seemingly endless trips to the emergency room with one accident prone kid after another, Evelyn writes jingles and enters contests. She wins enough money and prizes to provide for her family’s every need. And she does it all with a smile on her face. I highly recommend it.

Amazon affiliate links are on.  If you purchase any of the books I have
linked to, I get a small commission.  Thanks!

I’m not perfect, and neither is my family. Let’s get that out of the way right now. My house gets messy. I argue with my husband and daughter about weeds and dishes and did-you-feed-the-dog.
You might be wondering what I may have that will help you in your unique circumstances. You may be asking any of these questions

• She has only one child; I have seven.  What could she possibly know about motivating my large family?
• She is a stay at home mom; I work outside the home.  How could she possibly teach me that will help my family?
• She has a daughter.  I have boys.  What could she know that will work for them?

My answer to those questions would be, you’re right. However, I have spent a lot of time studying and pondering over the principles I am going to share with you. I have listened to many women share their stories as I have taught workshops about Family Work in church and homeschool conferences.
I believe that regardless of our personal and family circumstances, we, as mothers, are more alike than different.

Imagine this: It’s morning. You are standing in the middle of your kitchen. The floor is sticky. There is an imprint of a Lego on your left heel; it’s sure to leave a bruise. Last night’s dinner remains are still on the table next to three naked Barbies, a dozen uncapped markers, and half the contents of your junk drawer. Your sink is full of dishes that can’t go in the dishwasher because someone forgot to run it again last night. You go to grab a clean cup from the cupboard but there are none available. You sigh, grab an empty tupperware container and think to yourself, “What is that smell? The garbage? The food left on the counter? Me?” Just when you are about to pour yourself something to drink your kids come in and start asking what you are going to make them for breakfast.

Sound familiar? I think we all have days like that – days where you want to throw up your hands and yell, “Make your own %$!@ breakfast!”

I think we all know that giving children responsibilities and teaching them to work hard is important. And I don’t know a mother anywhere who wouldn’t love to have some help with all the things that are necessary to running the household. The problem is, we don’t always know how to make that happen and make it stick. You read a great article about kids and chores, find an awesome chore chart, pull together a system of incentives, and away you go. Everyone is excited about the stickers or points for a few days, but then the whole system fizzles.

I think the problem may be that we are jumping in at the wrong place.

Look, I made a fancy flow chart to show you what I mean.

In order to make lasting changes in our lives, I believe we have to start with principles, or the “why”. From there, we can begin to create a vision for what we want to accomplish. That vision leads to a plan: how we will get from here to there. Once our plan is in place, we can begin implementing it, little by little. As we begin to do so, it reinforces and broadens our understanding of the principles, and the cycle repeats.
Side note: A great book that explores some of these ideas is Raving Fans by Ken Blanchard The ideas are presented for businesses, but they work equally well for families.

Most articles on teaching your kids to work start with implementation. This series is different. In taking some time to focus on the other three steps in the cycle, I hope that you will be able to see real and lasting changes in your homes.

This week, we’re going to talk about principles, in other words: what is family work and why is it important. The principles are pretty universal. We’ll also get you started in creating a vision of what you would like to see in your home. In coming weeks, we’ll talk about planning and implementation. Vision, planning and application vary depending on your individual desires and circumstances. I’ll give some opportunities for you to share through comments, link-ups, and other social media so we can all gain ideas from each other.

Principles
When my daughter, Newt, was a pre-schooler, I had the opportunity to attend a conference for women. One of the classes that I wanted to take was full and I needed to choose another. My only criteria for choosing the replacement class was that it was close to the next class I’d be taking, keeping me from having to walk all the way across campus.
Ironic that my laziness led me to choose a class about work, no?
The presenter focused her remarks on “Family Work”. She defined it as this:

It is most commonly referred to as housework, yard work, and childcare, but it is much more than this; it is family work. It is a way of building a family. Is is an opportunity for even the littlest member to shine. It is a way to teach both independence and interconnectedness. It is service in its best, abeit, most difficult form. Family work is God’s work.

Kathleen Bahr, 2004 BYU Women’s Conference, “Rejoice in His Labour”

That class literally changed my life and the direction I wanted my family to take. I learned principles about family work that elevated it in my mind from drudgery to something far more important.
If you are a Christian, you are likely familiar with this scripture:
For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in. Naked, and ye clothed me. I was sick, and ye visited me. I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, “Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? Or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?”
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my bretheren, ye have done it unto me.

Matthew 25:35-40 KJV

Think about the work that you do in your home. How much of it has to do with feeding, clothing and bringing comfort to your family? Considering the service you give your family (and encourage them to give each other) in these terms elevates it to something far greater than “chores”.

Working together as a family strengthens relationships. It offers a way to be present with each other that many other activities don’t. It’s hard to check your email when you are up to your elbows in sudsy water. But it’s not hard to start a conversation with the small person holding a dish towel.
Family Work builds confidence and self-esteem.
It helps foster a sense of empathy and service.
It’s a great antidote to boredom (though your kids might not always agree).
Learning to work hard at home leads to greater academic success (read Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.)
Children who learn to value work are far more likely to grow into hard-working, responsible adults. (And therefore, less likely to keep moving back home. )

What have I left off? Why is work important? Leave your ideas in the comments.

Vision
In Louis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, Alice has the following conversation with the Cheshire Cat:

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to, “said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where—”said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“—so long as I get somewhere, “Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that, “said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

Without a vision, you, like Alice, are sure to get somewhere but it’s not likely to be where you truly want.
Your vision is an ideal. Don’t worry if it seems impossible. Don’t even worry, for now, if your vision does not match anyone else’s in your family. (We’ll address that more next week.)
Before something can exist in reality, it must be created in your imagination.
I think I read that on a bumper sticker somewhere…

Begin to create a vision of what you want for your home. Be aware, I am not really talking about material possessions, but more about the feeling that exists in your home. What does your ideal look like? What does it smell like? (Homemade bread or cookies, fresh cut flowers, wood smoke from the fireplace?) What does it sound like? How does it make you feel to be there?

Homework Time

• Get out a piece of paper, open a word document, or download and print (for free) my family work journal – week 1.
• Answer the following questions:  Why do you think Family Work is important? Have your feelings changed?
• Take some time to think about what you truly desire for your family. Begin to create a vision (or ideal) for your home. Do not worry about putting anything into practice yet.
• Journal your thoughts.  Feel free to post them in the comments or on my facebook page as well, if you’d like.
• Stumble, tweet, like, +1, blog or email this post. Grab a button for your blog. The more people we have joining the conversation the better.

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