Category Archives: Parenting

An Almost-Spring Break

Change is in the air. I don’t know if it’s that certain slant of February light through my living room window–you know, where it hits the piano, just so? Or if it was the string of days we’ve had this month where there was no rain, that our hens are beginning to lay again, or the return of Girl Scout Cookies–whatever the cause I can feel spring peeking around the corner.

spring chickens

All week this feeling of almost-spring has been giving me a case of almost-spring fever–and I’m not the only one. “What are we doing today and can it please be fun?” has become Newt’s chorus.

On Wednesday my answer was, “Library. I’ll bring my laptop. You bring a friend.” And even though it wasn’t new or exciting, it was enough. That is until I received a text saying that Newt’s friend wasn’t going to be able to make it.

What are we going to do today and can it please be fun?

Suddenly the library wasn’t going to cut it. I made a quick phone call to Walt then told Newt to pack an overnight bag. Twenty minutes later we hit the road for some much needed girl bonding time.

Oregon Coast

Luckily, our favorite little getaway wasn’t booked. We spent the next 24 hours reading, giggling, eating amazing food, and talking about the things that are truly the most important: family, faith, good books, and boys.

Change is in the air for Newt too–she’s growing up so fast. Our little adventure was an opportunity to hit the pause button, if only for a moment. I didn’t know how much I needed that, how much we both did, until we were already there.

The Sylvia Beach Hotel was made for book lovers. Each room is themed around a different author. We stayed in Tolkien and read aloud favorite passages from The Hobbit late into the night. The hotel has no phones, televisions, or even wi-fi, but it has beautiful beach views, a well-stocked third floor library, and even a resident cat. (I forgive it that last one.)

Sylvia Beach Hotel Library

In the morning, after a breakfast that nearly made Newt cry for sheer goodness (hello, oven-glazed pepper bacon) we put on our boots and jackets for a walk on the rainy beach.

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Oregon coast

As we stomped our rubber boots in the surf a tiny miracle happened: a floating glass bottle washed ashore.

Messageless Bottle

Though at first we were both disappointed to find that it did not contain a secret message, we brought it home anyway. I think I’ll save it until we return again. I’ll toss it back out to the sea, this time with a message of my own:

Today is all you have. Make it meaningful. Make it fun.

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On My Mind – 10/01/2012

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This girl (the one on the right):

My little Newt is turning twelve in just a few short weeks. Yes, being a tweenager means a bit of drama, but my goodness how I love that girl.
Last week, at swim practice, a boy did something that annoyed her. I’m not sure what his offense was, but she told me, “I just glared at him and thought: I hope you really want chocolate sometime and can’t find any.” Do not cross that girl.
She recently declared that she is a writer, just like her mama. I can’t tell you how proud I felt. She carries a notebook around and writes whenever she has a spare moment. Her stories are just like her: fresh, funny, and a little bit quirky. I adore them.
Also, if you must know, the girl on the right is lovely as well. She is giving us four to five eggs a week.

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I love to write in our studio/schoolroom. The words flow better there. However, it is not the quietest room in the house. I’ve taken to wearing headphones and listening to this. I’m an Oregonian. I bleed rain.

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My hair. It’s been awhile since I’ve given you an update, no? As of this writing I have used shampoo one time in the last 15 months. I was out of baking soda. It was a short-lived disaster. Thankfully things went back to normal after my next No ‘Poo wash.
In other hair news, I recently had eight inches cut off. I did not donate it because I had no conception of it being that long. I just didn’t see it until it was a pile on the floor. Sorry.

I love the new cut. I’m also trying out a new color. We’ll see how it lasts with my washing habits. On one hand, baking soda may strip the color. On the other, I only wash 2-3 times a week, which may preserve the color. I know you will be on the edge of your seat. I’ll report my findings once I find them.

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Walt and Newt went – are you ready for this? – Christmas shopping on Saturday. For me. Walt has never bought a Christmas gift before mid-December. I don’t know what to make of this new development.

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This. It fascinates me.

What’s on your mind today?

Christmas List

Done

  • These last felt nativities bring my total up to eight this season. I’ve gotten a bit faster at them, but each set still takes about five hours. I’m looking forward to making something else now.

2011's Needlefelted Nativity #8

Plan To Do

  • I still haven’t started a handmade gift for Newt. I’m thinking of felting her a Princess Leia – if I can bear to pick up my needles and roving one more time before Christmas.
  • I have plans to take Newt out to buy her Dad a gift. I did 99% of my shopping online this year; it should be fun to go on a shopping date with my girl.
  • The turkey that I didn’t cook for Thanksgiving is defrosting in the fridge. We’ve invited Grandma to sleep over on Christmas Eve. After church on Christmas morning, we’ll open our gifts and then I’ll get cooking (the meal, not Grandma).

Cross your fingers for this:
turkey dinner 2008
Not this:
turkey fail

Not Going To Do (and I don’t feel even a bit of guilt)
I feel like I got a late start this year, so there were some things I just didn’t get around to doing.

  • I didn’t send cards this year, though I do have a letter half written. Maybe I’ll send it for Valentine’s.
  • I didn’t bake a thing, but I’m okay with that. Besides, I think Newt will have all the baking buttoned up for us this week. She’s making cookies at a 4H workshop this afternoon and fudge or peanut-brittle with some friends later in the week.

cookies
I can live with no baby Elvis in the manger this year.

I’m feeling the need to draw inward for a bit. To spend some time at my home and hearth, enjoying my family.
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Things will likely be quieter around here for the rest of the year. Not completely silent, mind you: I have plans to share a recipe tomorrow and a book review sometime next week, but if I’m not here every day, don’t worry. I’ll just be alternating between lounging around and making merry with my two favorite people:
mustachioed trio
That reminds me of one more thing I didn’t do this year: family photos. This one will have to do. Newt is actually about that tall now anyway, without having to stand on a chair.

Just in case I don’t get around to saying it: I hope that your Christmas (Hanukkah, Kwanza, Solstice and/or Festivus) is very merry and that you are surrounded by those that you love.
I also hope that if you have a chance to wear a fake mustache, you embrace it wholeheartedly.

Happy Fall Y'all {and a teeny-tiny announcement}

I love this time of year. Right now, I’m sitting on the couch, wrapped in my favorite blanket. The window is open and I can smell the rain that is falling outside. It’s time for baking good things, apple cider and pumpkin patches. I’m as happy as a bird with a french fry*.

Saturday, we decided to get our yard in shape before the rain started. We mowed and edged, trimmed and weeded. Working together as a family was really a lot of fun. Especially since we didn’t beat the rain.
Once the work was done, Newt has some fun playing in her “splashpad”.
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And then she went all tribal on us.
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While she was playing, I got out some of our Halloween decorations.
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The next time I turned around, Newt looked like this:
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Time for a shower.
Newt told me that other moms would probably get mad if their kids looked like that, but I laughed and said, “Let me get the camera.”
Before anyone calls CPS on me, please let me state for the record that I did have something to say about the wet muddiness: “Be sure to get undressed in the garage and throw your clothes right in the wash before heading in the house”.
I’m nothing if not a conscientious parent.

The cool weather has put us in the mood for more needlefelting. It just feels right this time of year, you know?
Which brings me to my little announcement:
[deep breath]
I’ve opened an Esty shop for some of my little creations: Frantically Simple Handmade.  
I’m feeling like a very small and dull fish in a big huge talented pond, but life is for risk-taking, right? Plus, I love creating things, but only have so much place on the mantle. This way, I can create and then let it go…
There is not a whole lot of stock in there yet, but I’m working on more (including another Nativity set).
Would you mind taking a look? And if you like what you see, maybe you could share it with your friends? And if you hate it, maybe find a nice way to tell me what I could be doing better?
Here are a couple of the things I have made over the weekend:.

fall needle felting

Fall Needlefelting
Happy fall y’all. It’s shaping up to be a good one.

*I saw this quote painted on a plaque on Pinterest and it totally resonated. What could be happier?

Guest Post: Nicholeen Peck, Teaching Self-Government

 

I am so excited about today’s guest post. I heard about Nicholeen Peck and Teaching Self Government about a year ago when a friend invited me to a parenting seminar that Nicholeen was teaching. I said no thanks: things were going well in our home; I didn’t want to spend the money; I didn’t have time… all the standard excuses. Over the course of the next several months I watched as my friend began to apply Self Government principles in her home and I began to kick myself for not attending the seminar with her.

Lucky for me, my friend was generous and loaned me a CD of Nicholeen talking about how to create a self-governing family. As I listened, I was both impressed with her calm and loving parenting style and inspired by the things she taught. As Walt and I have applied these principles in our home, our family is closer, there is less arguing and things run more smoothly. I hope you will enjoy learning some of the same things:

Nicholeen Peck: Teaching Self Government

Parenting is by far the hardest sport there is.  Yes, it’s a sport.  You run after them, play 52 thing pick up night at day, invent games, have to use ‘mind over matter’ philosophy, set goals, not get discouraged, train every day, rise early, have patience, and try again and again to get it right.  If that is not just like training for any other Olympic sport, I don’t know what is.

If you have ever played sports, you will also know that until you master the fundamentals, you don’t master the game or event.  It’s those fundamentals that every aspiring athlete gets bored of, but that every expert knows makes all the difference.

Fundamentals of parenting are no different.  Some of the moments which make the most difference in our parenting success and happiness are no more than skills practice time, and can seem pointless.

 

So what are the fundamentals of parenting? 

1. Know how to stay calm.
2.  Know how to teach children a new skill
3.  Know how to effectively correct a child when he has done or is doing wrong.
4.  Know how to calm a child who is out of control.
5.  Know what skills are essential for making a child into a happy adult
6.  Know about boundaries and how to teach children about them
7.  Know what your parenting vision is and how to get it
8.  Know what your child is thinking and feeling
9.  Know how to communicate effectively
10. Know how to keep the family united in purpose and feeling

These fundamentals are discussed in great detail in my book, Parenting A House United, so I will not attempt to explain them all here.  However I will share with you a few of my thoughts on staying calm and effectively correcting children in this video: (Please forgive the synchronization problem.)

In this video I talk about a few skills: accepting no answers and disagreeing appropriately.  I also briefly demonstrate the appropriate way to correct a child who has made a wrong choice.  When I did foster care for troubled teens I learned about Four Basic Skills for a happy life.

1.  Following Instructions
2. Accepting No Answers and Criticism
3.  Accepting Consequences
4.  Disagreeing Appropriately  

Ninety-nine percent of all discipline problems can be solved by learning these four basic skills.  Most people who have failed relationships or end up in prison can’t do at least one of these things.  These are essential life skills which are worth teaching and referring to often.  For a free copy of the steps to these four basic skills and steps to correcting problem behaviors go here.

For articles on how to use these skills and set up a family culture to prepare children to govern themselves, including how to hold effective family meetings, and answers to commonly asked parenting questions you may want to visit TeachingSelfGovernment.com

Nicholeen Peck is a mother of four and previous foster parent of many troubled teens .  She spends her free time helping families learn the principles of self-government, and happiness.  She was featured in a one hour documentary by the BBC called The World’s Strictest Parents , writes for many magazines and blogs and teaches all over the world about calm, effective parenting.

Buy Nicholeen’s book here:

ETA 8/20/2011: Also now available on amazon.