Category Archives: His Tender Care

The Wondrous Gift

Written on December 12, 2011 by in His Tender Care

Be it Unto Me, Liz Lemon Swindle

We set up the evergreen tree with its gleaming, brightly colored lights; we hang wreaths and bells; and we light candles—all to remind us of that wondrous gift, the coming of our Lord into the world of mortality.
We send Christmas cards to numerous friends and relatives, pulling back into happy memories the loved ones who have moved out of our immediate association.
Like the wise men who opened their treasury and presented to Jesus gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh, we present to our loved ones things to eat and wear and enjoy.
Though we make an effort to follow the pattern of gift giving, sometimes our program becomes an exchange—gift given for gift expected. Never did the Savior give in expectation. I know of no case in his life in which there was an exchange. He was always the giver, seldom the recipient.
Never did he give shoes, [socks], or a vehicle; never did he give perfume, a shirt, or a [coat]. His gifts were of such nature that the recipient could hardly exchange or return the value. His gifts were rare ones: eyes to the blind, ears to the deaf, and legs to the lame; cleanliness to the unclean, wholeness to the infirm, and breath to the lifeless. . . . His gifts were . . . light in the darkness, forgiveness to the repentant, hope to the despairing. His friends gave him shelter, food, and love. He gave them of himself, his love, his service, his life.
The wisemen brought him gold and frankincense.
He gave them and all their fellow mortals resurrection, salvation, and eternal life. We should strive to give as he gave.

(The Gifts of Christmas, Spencer W. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1999, p. 129.)

PS: I hope it’s not tacky to bring this up now, but I made a little mistake on my Easy Canvas Prints contest: the three $10 gift cards must be used separately. Oops. I called the nice people there to see about buying a $30 gift card and they decided to foot the bill. I love this company.
I was able to choose four winners: one for $30 and three more for $10 each.
Jeanne G. won the $30. Candy, Michelle W. and Marysmassage4u each won $10. Check your inboxes, ladies!

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Homeschooling and Religious Studies

Written on November 2, 2011 by in Books, His Tender Care, Homeschooling

I don’t homeschool for religious reasons. I think it’s completely possible to send your children to school and still help them to develop a love for and faith in God. I see it all the time in the good people I know.
However since Newt is home with me, I find that we naturally have many more wonderful opportunities to discuss our faith than we might otherwise have. I’m ever so grateful for those opportunities, and I actively seek them out. One way I do so is by trying to make a study of the scriptures a part of each day. Here are a few of the things that I have found helpful in this endeavor.

Set the Example
First, I think it is important for Newt to see me studying the scriptures. For years, I have had a goal to spend a little time studying every day. I used to get up early to study in private, before everyone else was up. About a year ago, I decided to try instituting “personal study time” for a half an hour or so right after breakfast. I told Newt she could quietly read anything she liked, but that I would use that time for my scripture study. Most days, she chooses to study hers as well. Even better, she often initiates a conversation about what she has read, asking questions, sharing her thoughts and asking about my reading. We have been able to have some wonderful moments in these conversations.

Journaling and Scripture Marking
I tend to view my scriptures as living, working notebooks. I write in the margins and underline passages that I find meaningful. Here is another place where I see my example rubbing off on Newt. She has begun to do the same thing. After borrowing my favorite scripture marking pencil for the umpteenth time, she was excited to find her own in her Easter basket last year. Newt has a tendency to mark more than she leaves blank, but she is reading – and thrilled to have such a clear visual of her progress.
Scripture Study
She also received a set of scripture marking stickers and has loved looking up the passages where the stickers should be placed.  Our sticker set covers both the Old and New Testaments, as well as the uniquely LDS scriptures.

Scripture Study
Another way I make the scriptures my own, is by journaling what I read. I made myself a scripture journal based on these instructions. (Hat-tip to Jessica, thanks for sharing!)  Though Newt doesn’t have one of her own yet, she has been very interested in mine.  I may have to make one for her for Christmas.

Memorizing Scripture
Simply Charlotte Mason has a great way to memorize scripture,  or anything else that you may be working on. (Jessica also found this one first.)
Scripture Study
We are currently using it to memorize the LDS 13 Articles of Faith, and then plan to begin working on some New Testament scriptures. The process is simple: write the verses you wish to memorize on index cards. Place them in the front of a file box to hold until you are ready to use them.  Create dividers labeled Daily, Odd, Even, the days of the week and dates of the month. Move the verse you are currently working on to behind the Daily divider.  Each day you spend a few minutes simply reciting the verse on that card.
Simply Charlotte Mason describes what you do next, “As you master the verses behind the Daily divider, advance that card and move the replaced verses farther back in the box. So when you have memorized a Daily, move it behind either the Odd or Even divider. Move the verse that was in that Odd or Even slot back to a Day of the Week slot. And move the verse it replaces in the Day of the Week slot back behind a numbered divider. You can then put a new verse or passage to memorize behind the Daily divider and you’re ready to go again.
In this way, you will review a new verse every day, then graduate to every other day, once a week, and finally, once a month. Use the system every day of the month and you will review all the verses you know every month of the year! Of course, not all months have thirty-one days; the verses behind 31 will be reviewed seven months out of the year. We recommend putting verses that you know quite well behind that number since it gets reviewed less frequently.”
I have to admit, we don’t remember to do this every single day, but we are still making great progress with it. Today Newt memorized a passage that has been particularly difficult for her and she was so proud of herself. It was a good feeling for both of us.

Even though I didn’t choose to homeschool based on religious reasons, I am so happy that our faith can be such a big part of out homeschooling day.

How do you approach religious studies at home? Any methods or curriculum that you particularly enjoy?

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Drink

Written on March 11, 2009 by in His Tender Care, That's So Random

You know, I don’t really call myself a writer.
Even though:
I write as often as I can.
I am 9/10ths of my way through the first draft of my first novel.
I have submitted work to publishing agencies.
And I have earned a very small amount of money for words that I have put on a page, but I don’t think of myself as a writer. I feel like I have to reach a certain level first. A nebulous level of success that will only become clear once I’ve reached it. On that distant day, I will declare myself a writer.
I could sit and ponder why it is that I am loathe to name myself that way…
Hmm…could it be that I prefer not to be constrained by labels? Perhaps something from my childhood?
…but deep down, I know why I can not will not do not say I am a writer. It is because I am afraid of the scrutiny that I think it would invite. I am afraid people would disagree.
Oh Heidi, you are not a writer. You just aren’t. Not really.
I was talking to a friend today and I mentioned that I don’t look at a glass as half-full or half-empty; I just drink it. And that’s truly the way I approach life.
I do.
When I want something, I go for it.
When I want to know something, I find it out.
I try to live each day drinking life in instead of trying to figure our what it all means. I just do.
How can I bring these two parts of myself into harmony? The one who is afraid to declare what I want to be, and the one who picks up the glass and drains every last drop?
I can’t.
I can’t be both fearless and afraid.
I can’t be the both conqueror and the conquered.
Okay, maybe I can, but I don’t want to be.
I won’t.
So here and now
for the first time ever
I declare:
I am a writer.
Just don’t tell anyone, okay?

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No wonder He said that

Written on November 10, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Eight is a big year for children in my church because at age eight a child can choose to be baptized. Newt had been looking forward to last night for as long as she can remember. A couple of weeks ago, my shy terrified child shocked me by declaring that she wanted to tell the church how she feels about her God. She was so scared that she even cried a little on the way to the podium, but she felt like she really needed to do it.
This is what she said:

I want to share my testimony. I love God and I know he loves me. He is my very best friend in the whole world.

Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. – Matthew 18:3
Baptism

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A Beginning

Written on November 9, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Baptism
I’m too exhausted to write much tonight, but today has been a wonderful, special day for our family.
This evening my Newt started a journey. She placed her (not so little anymore) foot upon the path as she chose to follow the example of Jesus Christ and be baptized.
I’ve never been prouder to be her mom.

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A Whirlwind Romance – Part 2

Written on August 18, 2008 by in His Tender Care, The Way It Was

Click here for part one of the greatest love story ever told (on this blog).

At this time in my life I was busy pursuing both a fine education (general studies at the local community college) and a career (customer service rep at Circuit City). On Sundays I attended a college ward (LDS terminology alert: ward = congregation) for young singles. It was not really going well. Remember how I mentioned that I had a bit of an attitude? To my intense surprise, my prickly personality had not won me any friends. I was considering whether I should continue going there or go back to my parents’ ward (snore).
Politically incorrect sidenote: Growing up, it was the standard joke that all of the people in my parents’ ward were either short, fat or retarded. Thankfully, I’m only 5’1″.
One afternoon at work I received my schedule and noticed that I was supposed to work the following Sunday afternoon. That meant that I would be unable to attend either ward. But I really did want to go to church. By a series of odd coincidences I ended up in a ward way across town. I had never been there and didn’t know anyone that attended there, but it met in the morning and I could go and still get to work on time. So I went.
I sat in the back, feeling slightly awkward. A few people smiled at me but I didn’t know what to say so I buried my head in the program. Hmmm…I noticed a familiar name. That one guy from the dance, my future husb- shut up! would be speaking that day – reporting back on his mission.
A I listened to him speak I realized that he was really a nice guy. And he seemed so confident, so sure of himself, which was exactly the opposite of what I felt. I felt bad for being so snotty to him when we met.
After the service, he saw me leaving the chapel. He caught up to me a grabbed me by the hand.
“Heidi, what are you doing here? Do you go to this ward?”
“Um, no I have to work this afternoon and- actually it’s really a long, boring story. I liked your talk. Welcome home.”
I guess he was excited to see a young familiar face. He dragged me over to meet his family: his parents and older brother. I really didn’t mind, they seemed nice. I felt strange. What was this feeling? The opposite of awkward, comfortable…
The next Sunday I went back to my college ward.
I walked in and no one said hello.
I sat in the back, alone.
What was I doing there?
I said a quick, sort of demanding silent prayer.

Hey, Heavenly Father?
I’m here because I thought this might be where you wanted me to be. And yes, I admit I haven’t tried quite as hard as I should, but still…I’ve been coming for months and I’m not even sure the bishop knows my name, let alone any of the people my age. I’ve committed to follow you, and I will. I know it won’t always be easy, but I can’t take much more of this. If you want me here you’ve got to throw me a bone. Here’s what I need: a friend. Just one would be enough. Oh, and I’d like to feel like I belong here please. Today. Or I’m never coming back. I guess I’ll join all the short/fat/retarded people and my parents…

Before I could finish the bishop came up and said, “Heidi, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Could you meet me in my office after church for a few minutes? I’d like to get to know you better.”
“Um, okay.”
And then that guy from the dance walked in and said, “Why are you sitting here all alone? Come sit with me and my friends.” So I did.
That day I met his friend, Jay. Jay was nice and cute. So of course I said yes when he asked me out. Could be fun, right?

To be continued…

PS: Thirteen years ago today, Mr. Frantic asked me to be his wife and I said yes. I’d still say yes. Happy anniversary, sweetie.

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Where He wants me to be

Written on July 14, 2008 by in His Tender Care

I was recently tagged for a meme on The Roost. She describes it like so:

This challenge is prompted by the book Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure. by Larry Smith and Rachel Feshleiser. It’s a compilation based on the story that Hemingway once bet ten dollars that he could sum up his life in 6 words. His words were, “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn”.

Honestly, I have been having a hard time with this one because life has been? …let’s say it has been better.
Hey there’s six words: My life has been much better.
Or how about: Struggling, but keeping it to myself.
Or to get to the crux of the matter: Not where I want to be.

Three years ago my husband and I felt God directing us to a really big adventure. He told us to pack our things and leave our home: the place where our families lived and where we both grew up. We were to take our daughter and move 3000 miles from Oregon to Maryland. We had no concrete reason for doing so. Sure, there was a job there but there was a more secure job here. We were terrified, but we chose to obey. It was really hard and we were called upon to make huge financial sacrifices. Even so, it truly was the best time of my life.
It didn’t take me long to figure out what I was doing there. In his infinite love and mercy God moved us all that way so that I could be in the path of a young woman who needed me. Both our lives were changed forever.
And while I was there I grew to love Maryland. I love the trees and parks. I love the history. I love the food. I love the people I met.
I really loved the life I was living there.
I thanked God for my blessings even when it was hard. I was so grateful he placed us there and I never wanted to live anywhere else.
But He had other plans for us. The time came all too quickly that we were no longer needed in Maryland. A few months ago He called us home to Oregon; our family needed us here.
We obeyed but like Lot’s wife I have been unable to resist looking back. And I have been transformed into something like a pillar of salty, bitter tears. I have been stuck mourning for what I lost instead of building something new.
Yesterday, the tears I have been been trying to hold back broke through and I poured my sorrows out to my Lord. I felt no peace, just emptiness. Yet I pulled myself together and left for church.
And then He spoke to me.
It was He that reminded of Lot’s wife.
It was He that reminded me that I was merely pretending at obedience, for my heart wasn’t in it.
And then He comforted me.
During the service a group of young men sang a song that touched my soul so deeply that I could not keep from crying again. But this time the tears I shed were for gratitude that my God had not forgotten me.

Here are the words of the song:

It may not be on the mountain’s height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me;
But if by a still, small voice
He calls to paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine,
I’ll go where You want me to go.

Perhaps today there are loving words
Which Jesus would have me speak,
There may be now, in the paths of sin,
Some wand’rer whom I should seek;
O Savior, if Thou wilt be my Guide,
Tho’ dark and rugged the way,
My voice shall echo the message sweet,
I’ll say what you want me to say.

There’s surely somewhere a lowly place
In earth’s harvest fields so wide,
Where I may labor through life’s short day
For Jesus the Crucified;
So, trusting my all unto Thy care-
I know Thou lovest me-
I’ll do Thy will with a heart sincere,
I’ll be what You want me to be.

Chorus:
I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,
O’er mountain or plain or sea;
I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what You want me to be.

In that moment my heart was lifted and my resolve strengthened.

So here are my new six words:
Peace comes when I serve Him.
No matter where that might be.

*******
And now I have to tag five people (gag).
Here goes:
Desperately Seeking Sanity
She Just Had to Say It
Huh? And Other Profound Reactions to Life
Little Mama and Company
We are THAT Family

Here are the rules:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like.
3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travel across the blogsphere.
4. Tag 5 more blogs with links.
5. Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

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Home Improvement

Written on June 14, 2008 by in His Tender Care, Where I live

I married a real “fixer-upper”.
No, not a man who needs fixing-up, but one who does the fixing-up.
Here he is putting in a new front door:
Down with pirates!
What was wrong with the old one?
Nothing, if you like pirates. I mean really like pirates.
ahoy

Continue Reading »

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Storytime

Written on June 2, 2008 by in His Tender Care, Where I live

Girl Wonder loves stories. Old stories, new stories, made-up stories, true stories… stories that don’t unintentionally rhyme.
But the story she loves the most is the story about how she came to be our girl.

Once upon a time Daddy and I decided to have a baby.
We began praying that our Heavenly Father would send you straight from heaven.
But He said, “Not yet.”
I cried. I pouted. I said, “Why not?”
And he said, “I love you. Not yet.”
I begged. I pleaded. I said, “I want to be a mom.”
He said, “So did your sisters, Sarah, Rachael, Rebecca, Hannah… They all had to wait and so do you.”
I said, “That makes me really angry.”
He said, “I still love you.”
I said, “This hurts.”
He said, “I know, but if you let me I will bring you peace.”
I said, “I don’t know if I can. I’m still mad.”
He said, “I’m here when you are ready.”
I cried. I pouted. I said, “I’m not going to talk to you anymore.”
He said, “I’ll miss you.”
I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
He said, “I know.”
I said, “Please help me. I don’t know how to do this without you.”
He said, “I’m here.”
I said, “I trust you.”
And I gave him my broken heart.
He held it and promised to heal it, in time.
Sometimes I was tired of waiting. Sometimes I took back my broken heart. I tried to carry it myself, but it was too heavy.
He always took it back when I was ready to give it to him.
Five years passed.
One day He told me and Daddy to get ready. You would be coming soon.
He told us that he was carrying another broken heart. One that belonged to your birthmother.
She had prayed. She had cried. She had listened when He told her that you belonged to Him and that He wanted you to be with us.
She said, “That hurts.”
He said, “I know.”
She said, “Thy will be done.”
You were born on a Friday.
It was time for your birthmom to say goodbye.
It hurt. She cried. But her love was stronger than her pain.
We came to the hospital on Sunday. We met with your birthfamily.
We all cried. We all prayed.
The hospital chapel seemed too small to hold so much love and joy and sorrow.
She went home without you but she was not alone. He was with her.
Daddy and I rode the elevator to your floor, but we were not alone. He was with us too.
And then we were all together for the first time.
I said, “I’m your mom.”
Daddy said, “I’m your dad.”
I held you in my arms and we cried. But this time we cried because we were happy.
I prayed.
I said, “You were right. She was worth all the pain.”
And He said, “So are you. Each of my children is. This is love.”
And I wondered and marveled at all He has done for me.
I looked at you and began to tell you a story. An important story. A true story.
A story about love.
“Once upon a time, long ago in a land far away there was a baby born…”

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Drive Across America – day 10: Welcome to Oregon!

Written on March 25, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Contemplating a long drive? My family and I have driven all the way across America. Twice. For travel tips, click here.


Sorry about the delay in writing this post, the last couple of days have been quite busy.
We made it! We drove all the way across the United States in nine days. (We didn’t actually leave until day two.)
Our little side trips added about five-hundred extra miles, adding up to a total of 3,547 miles. We spent about 58 hours driving. And we still like each other!
Our last day of traveling was on Easter Sunday. We attended church in Boise, Idaho. The people were so friendly! I shook so many hands entering the chapel that I felt like I was in a receiving line at a wedding reception. I asked who the bride was, and the Bishop kindly volunteered. (All Bishops are male in the LDS church.)
It is not an uncommon occurrence in my church to see older men discreetly sleeping through the Sacrament service. My own father calls in alternately “resting his eyes” or “thinking”. However, in this particular ward I saw something new. An older gentlemen had brought a little pillow to add to his napping comfort. He placed it on the back of the pew in front of him and leaned forward, resting his head on it. What genius! Perhaps I could market little Sunday Pillows and sell them at Deseret Book.
When we returned to the car, I gave Abby a couple of Easter treats.
Aren’t I a thoughtful mother?
Not really. In my travel fatigue, I forgot that Abby’s OCD prohibits her from eating anything cute. So, she had an adorable cookie and white chocolate chick that looked delicious but she could not eat them. So she cried. I gave her a Twinkie from the cooler and told her she could keep them as Easter decorations. Next week, I’ll go shopping for a new therapist here in Oregon.
For our boredom buster today, I taught Abby how to pump her fist at truckers and get them to honk at us. In our exhaustion excitement for the last day of driving, we felt it to be way funnier than it really was. My stomach actually hurt from laughing and a (week of junk food.)
Which reminds me: One of my goals for this trip was to drive all the way across the US and not eat at McDonalds. We succeeded! We did have DQ, Carl’s Jr., Sonic, and once we got to Oregon, Burgerville, but not a single McDs! Quite an accomplishment, I think.
Oregon welcomed us back with rain, but I wasn’t surprised. Since then the weather has been dry and mild.
We arrived and went directly to our new house. The next day we woke and got ready, ate breakfast, and went directly to Target and Home Depot.
Yesterday we painted Abby’s room.
Today, the moving truck will come.
Tonight, we sleep under our new roof.
Tomorrow: unpacking.
Stay tuned.

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