Category Archives: His Tender Care

Drive across America – Day 8

Written on March 21, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Contemplating a long drive? My family and I have driven all the way across America. Twice. For travel tips, click here.


Mileage: 437
Total mileage: 2695
Today’s time in car: 6 hours 5 minutes
Starting from: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Ending in: Salt Lake City, Utah
States visited: Wyoming, Utah
Today’s boredom buster: picking up a cuddly hitchhiker at a truck stop store
Mood: bored, then energized

Today was just a whole lot of driving.
Here are the highlights:
• People in Wyoming wear these. In their honor, I am using lots of bullets today.
• We saw real mountains again. Sorry Pennsylvania, what you call mountains just don’t cut it.
• We crossed the continental divide. Now all the rivers run west toward the Pacific. Just like us.
• I finished “The Thirteenth Tale” and loved it. When I get a chance, I’ll give it five stars on goodreads.
• We are back in familiar territory. I must have ridden along on the drive from Utah to Oregon at least 25 times. At least. I found myself getting excited, thinking “We’re almost there!” Then I remembered that we still have thirteen hours of driving to go.

When we got to Salt Lake, we checked into our hotel and then walked over to the Joseph Smith Memorial building for dinner at the Garden Room, where as an appetizer we enjoyed deep-fried pickles. They were actually quite good.

Here’s how I knew we were really in Utah:
• A random man on the elevator quoted an LDS (Mormon) General Authority (leadership in the LDS church) to us.
• We saw lots of women in really long skirts.
• The man at the table next to us at dinner was talking about how a difficult project at work compares to stories in the Book of Mormon.
• I heard a woman saying how she “loves a good dill”. I thought ‘pickle?’ but she was referring to shopping (deal).
After dinner we enjoyed a good swim in the hotel pool. Abby made shy friends with two little girls. They played Marco-Poolo with us (more fun to say than Polo). Later, we ran into them at the elevator and they both gave Abby hugs. She felt so good about herself and her ability to make friends at her new school.
Tomorrow: Museum of Mormon History and Art, visiting with family, more driving

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Drive acoss America – Day 7

Written on March 20, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Contemplating a long drive? My family and I have driven all the way across America. Twice. For travel tips, click here.


Mileage: 523
Total mileage: 2258
Today’s time in car: 7 hours 16 minutes
Starting from: Omaha, Nebraska
Ending in: Cheyenne, Wyoming
States visited: Nebraska, Wyoming
Today’s boredom buster: new socks
Mood: inspired

Leaving Nauvoo yesterday, we had a decision to make. Should we go north to South Dakota and see Mt. Rushmore or stay on hwy 80, a path we have already taken when we drove east three years ago? We really wanted to go north, but given the time of year we decided that it would be more prudent to stay on 80. So, we continued along hwy 80, following the Mormon trail.
This morning, after unpacking and reorganizing the additional baggage in our car, we drove over to the Mormon Trail Center in Florence, Nebraska. This is where the early wagon companies built cabins and wintered over before resuming their journey west.
Last time we were here, Abby was only four; she has no memory of this place. And I have to admit, it was much more meaningful for me to be here after visiting all of the other historic sites this week.
A sister missionary took us on a tour of the center, recounting the hardships and sorrow the pioneers had on their trek west. A portion of the journey that should have taken four weeks took four months. Four months of slogging through cold mud that came up to the wagon boxes. That’s chest high for someone my size.
We drove the same distance in one day.
Even when they made it to Winter Quarters, death was a near daily occurrence. Children particularly, were susceptible to scurvy from the lack of fresh produce. Many were buried at the cemetery on the hill across the street from where we stood. After the tour, I stooped in the cemetery tracing the barely legible letters on this small marking stone. A-M-Y.
And yet, they kept their faith firmly wrapped around them and continued on. This statue in the cemetery shows a grieving couple standing over the grave of their baby. The sorrow is plainly etched on their faces, yet the man’s bent leg shows him preparing to take a step and keep going.
Why did they do it? Through it all, the sorrow, the hardships, even the monotony of walking 1000 miles across seemingly unchanging plains, burned a conviction that they were following God’s will.
They kept moving west. And they sang as they went.
One of my favorite hymns was written on the trail by one of these early pioneers. Journal accounts from the time indicate that it was sung nearly every day. Hear it here.

The tour had fun parts as well. Abby practiced loading her wagon, placing the important things in first, weighing what must be left behind. She also got to pull a handcart.
I hope all these memories stay with her. That she is able to lean upon the testimonies of her ancestors when life gets difficult. That she will be inspired to keep placing one foot in front of another even when she is so very tired.

Today’s drive was long. I read. Abby watched movies and drew. Bob just drove. We were bored.
I tried to keep in my mind’s eye a picture of the past, those that struggled along this same road all those years ago. I tried to be grateful.
Still, at our hotel this evening, I locked myself in the bathroom for just five minutes to myself.
Abby came knocking after two.

Tomorrow: A long day of driving.

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Drive across America – Day six: Nauvoo and Carthage, Illinois

Written on March 19, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Contemplating a long drive? My family and I have driven all the way across America. Twice. For travel tips, click here.


Day six
Mileage: 426
Total mileage: 1735
Today’s time in car: 7 hours 16 minutes
Starting from: Nauvoo, Illinois
Ending in: Omaha, Nebraska
States visited: Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska
Today’s boredom buster: playing with high powered hand dryers
Mood: grateful

This morning, after breakfast, we explored more of historic Nauvoo (including the barns and oxen corral where I took the above photo) before driving into Carthage. There we were privileged to visit Carthage Jail, where Joseph Smith and his brother, Hyrum gave their lives for their testimonies of Jesus Christ.
We sat in the very room where the mob shot through the door, killing Hyrum, before pushing their way in, wounding John Taylor (the same man who went back for his son’s horse), and shooting Joseph as he fell through the window.
We have been in some fantastic places along this journey, but nothing compared with the feeling in that yellow limestone jail. Bob and I both wiped tears from our eyes as we contemplated the sacrifices made in that very room.
Outdoors, I watched as Abby jumped over cracks in the stonework just ffet from the very place Joseph’s body had lain. I couldn’t help but smile. It didn’t feel disrespectful. It felt joyful. And knowing what I do about the man, I think he would have appreciated it.
The mobbers thought that killing Joseph Smith would put an end to the Mormons, yet here we stood, over 160 years later. I too, felt joy.

We had lunch at Dairy Queen. I’ve been craving this for three years. (There’s no DQ in the part of Maryland we had been living in.) Our family then resumed our long journey west.
We listed to a recording of Pippi Longstocking while I amused myself by taking pictures.
Of this.
And this.
And this.
Little did we know of the danger lurking just up the highway.
We drove along, feeling fine, when suddenly, we felt a thump on our car that caused us to swerve a bit. Bob looked in the rear view mirror and exclaimed… something that I won’t be printing. He put on the brakes and the hazard lights and pulled over.
I looked back in confusion to see Abby’s backpack and lots of random papers lying in the median. We got out and felt shocked to see our cargo carrier looking like this.
Somehow (the force of Bob’s powerful driving perhaps?) the carrier had ripped and spewed our belongings along the highway.
The red box in the photo had held important papers for Bob’s business. We ran to gather them with cars rushing by just feet from us. We noticed, with relief, two things: first, the papers that had blown out were only testimonial letters and second, not one had blown into the highway. All of them were lying in the grassy median where we were able to gather them up.
We also picked up Abby’s backpack and a Magic Treehouse CD. It had been in her CD player, the bulk of which now lay 100 feet from where it had first landed. Another shiny CD drew our attention, but it was merely someone’s discarded porn. We left it in the mud. We emptied all of our things from the carrier, shoving them haphazardly into the car.
Once we were safely back in the car, Bob and I gave thanks that greater disaster had been averted. No one was hurt. Our things had not flown into the highway, causing an accident. And the only thing we lost was Abby’s CD player, broken beyond repair.
Bob carefully drove us to the next exit where these men, hotel employees, offered to help him remove and discard the broken carrier alongside the hotel dumpster.
After that we just drove. I started reading Dianne Stetterfield’s “The Thirteenth Tale”. Abby watched “Bug’s Life”. Bob just drove.
Tomorrow: Mormon Trail Center, Florence, Nebraska

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Drive Across America Day five: Nauvoo, Illinois

Written on March 19, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Contemplating a long drive? My family and I have driven all the way across America. Twice. For travel tips, click here.


Mileage: 200
Total mileage: 1309
Today’s time in car: 3 hours, 3 minutes
Starting from: Peru, Illinois
Ending in: Nauvoo, Illinois
States visited: Illinois, Iowa
Today’s boredom buster: a pretty new bonnet
Mood: irritated and confused

We started our morning with a Dr. Suess inspired breakfast from IHOP. Abby and I ordered the same meal. I do not really care for Technicolor food like the pancakes, but we both agreed that the spinachy “green eggs” were delicious.
On our way out the door, I noticed a gray-haired, little old woman sitting alone. She motioned me over to her and whispered, “Sweetheart, your hair is so cute. I really like it.” I really ought to pay more random compliments like that. It was so nice!
We only drove 200 miles today. Somehow we ended up a tiny bit lost and crossed the river into Iowa. We turned around and eventually found our way into Nauvoo, stopping once to ask directions here.
To amuse ourselves today, Bob, Abby and I just looked out the window while we listened to more of “The Dragon Rider”.
Illinois has no shortage of broken down single-wide trailers, pink houses (so John Cougar Mellencamp), or farmhouses. Some were ugly, others lovely, and all were charming in their way.
I wonder about the people who live there. Do they marvel at wheat futures? Gossip about Brenda-Sue’s boy and his new girlfriend with all the tatoos? Lie awake at night worrying about their aging parents and their young kids and the mortgage? Do they have home perms or go see Donna-Jo at her new beauty parlor? Why did they paint their house pink?
Once in Nauvoo, I asked commanded Abby to change from her short skirt into long pants more suitable for walking around in the cool outdoors. After 20 minutes of whining and crying, she complied, only to be hit with an anxiety attack. She could wear them, but she then felt too “nervous” to do anything but huddle in a corner and cry.
Darn it! I knew better. I can not force the issue of clothes with her. And, truth be known, it was really more of a irritated power play on my part. My fault.
I pulled a long dress from the suitcase and had her change in the car. I took her hated pants and threw them out the window.
And then I went and picked them up. Good thing we were parked.
However, we were both considerably cheered.
Today we visited the home of my great-great grandfather, Wilford Woodruff and his wife Phoebe. It was beautiful. After serving a mission in England, he declared that he never wanted to be cold again and so built a fireplace into every room of his house. No other home here has that feature. He spent about 40 nights in his home, serving another mission to England with his family, before returning to Nauvoo and being forced out by the mobs. He was lucky to sell his home for about $500; others got much less. We heard of one farm selling for $4.
We also went to the Red Brick Store, where the Relief Society was organized, the Smith family grave site, Brigham Young’s home, and the home of John Taylor. Here we learned a touching story. When the Taylor family fled their home they left most of their belongings behind. One little boy was inconsolable about the loss of this horse. When his father learned what the trouble was, disregarding the threat to his safety, he crossed back over the river, in disguise and at night, in order to bring back his son’s prized toy. The horse made it all the way to the Salt Lake valley with the family, only to be returned many years later by some Taylor descendents.
This evening we took advantage of the hotel pool before heading out to dinner. Abby wore her new hat and pretended to be a pioneer pirate.
Tomorrow: More Nauvoo and Carthage jail
After tomorrow, we need to pick up the pace. We have 2100 miles to go, and Bob would like to make it by Sunday. (Good luck!)
I only have three more books with me. We’ll see how I fare.

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Drive Across America – Day 4

Written on March 18, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Contemplating a long drive? My family and I have driven all the way across America. Twice. For travel tips, click here.


Day 4
Today’s mileage: 516
Time driving: 8 hours 32 minutes
Total mileage: 1109
Today’s boredom buster: finger knitting
Starting from: Erie, Pennsylvania
Stops: Kirtland, Ohio
States we drove through: Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois
Ended for the day: All the way in Peru! (Peru, Illinois)
Mood: Just a tiny bit peevish, it was a long day

Someone, I’ll not say who, left the dome light on in the car last night. This person went out to get her notebook, the one with the mileage information in it, so that she could post the information to her blog. Now, I’m not pointing any fingers, but this nameless person, the one that left the dome light on, is at fault for the dead battery this morning. But she was very sorry and contrite, so no one was too terribly angry with her.
These kind men drove their truck up a snowbank to jumpstart our car. We thanked them profusely, hands were shaken all around, and we were finally on our way.
Our only point of interest today was the Kirtland Temple in Kirtland, Ohio. We did not have time to see the other historical sites there, but the temple was amazing.
The early LDS people, or saints, as they were (and still are) referred to, built this magnificent structure in their poverty and at great personal sacrifice. As a girl, I remember hearing about how the women donated their china and glassware to be ground up and mixed with the stucco for the exterior. This caused the building to glitter in the sun.
My own great-great grandfather, Wilford Woodruff joined the church just three years after the temple’s completion, and he most certainly worshiped and received instruction therein.
The temple is now owned by The Community of Christ, formerly know as the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. They give tours and allow other groups to come and hold services in the temple.
I am grateful that I had the opportunity to see this great piece of my heritage, and that Bob and I could share it with Abby.
After that we just drove. And drove. And drove.
Abby watched Underdog, The Princess Diaries and Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one).
I know it’s PG-13. And she is not 13; she’s 7.
It is the only one of that rating I allow her to watch because 1) I have previewed it several times, 2) I know my daughter and she can handle it and 3) we really like pirates. Or to quote Abby, “I’m very fond of pirates.”
She also drew more animal pictures from her Ed Emberly book. At one point we had the following conversation:
A: This summer, maybe we could have art class at home.
Me: I was thinking the same thing. But not just drawing, more like homemaking. You know, sewing, canning, stuff like that.
A: Okay, you can teach those to me and I’ll teach you how to draw. I’m really, really good at it.
To amuse myself, I finished my Fannie Flagg book, “Can’t Wait to Get to Heaven” and loved it. I’ll definitely have to read more of her. I also spent some time looking out the windows, watching America roll by.
We listened to part of Cornellia Funk’s “The Dragon Rider”.
Bob just drove. He’s a machine.
Stopping for gas somewhere in Indiana, or was it Illinois? We ran into these characters. They had the molted exoskeleton of a tarantula and were trying to frighten Abby and I. But we are made of stronger stuff than that. I just whipped out my camera and impressed them with my daring.
Ain’t America grand?
Tomorrow: Nauvoo, Illinois

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Drive Across America – Day Three

Written on March 16, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Contemplating a long drive? My family and I have driven all the way across America. Twice. For travel tips, click here.

Mileage: 241.9
Time in the car: 4 hours and 27 minutes
Today’s boredom buster: Creating napkin disguises
Starting from: Palmyra, New York
Stops: Niagara Falls
Ended for the night: Erie, Pennsylvania
Mood: Awed but Cold

This was the view from our hotel room this morning.

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true love

Written on February 14, 2008 by in His Tender Care

30 tiny moments: day 15
I have finally gotten into the habit of getting up before my family (most days) to read scripture.
This morning when I opened them, I found that someone had slipped in a cut-out heart.
I felt so loved.

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Beautiful Powerlessness

Written on February 12, 2008 by in His Tender Care

Whether they are religious, agnostic, or an atheist, I think most people would see the value in having a day of rest. A pause in the busyness of life. A way to connect as a family.
Mr. Frantic and I have chosen to honor Sunday as a Sabbath day. We intend it to be all of these things as well as a day of worship.
This means for us, that we do not shop or go out to eat, go to movies, museums, amusement parks or any other commercial activities, or do any non-essential work, including house and yard work. Invitations to for Abby to come play are politely declined. We spend the day together, as a family. It should be a day of rest, where we choose to pause the everyday business of life and instead focus on activities that bring us closer to each other and to God.
Our morning satisfies these objectives quite well. We generally make breakfast together, appreciating the knowledge gained during my husband’s teenage years working at an Original Pancake House. After enjoying pancakes that Newt declares “the best in whole world” the whole family “scrubs and tubs” and dress in our Sunday best for church.
It’s after church where I feel that the vision falls apart.
Lately, we have gotten into the bad habit of coming home from church and watching tv. All day.
It started out with an occasional “Family Movie Day”. Then Mr. Frantic and I realized that if we put on a movie, we could fall asleep on the couch while our girl watched. It was an easy way to sneak in a Sunday afternoon nap.
Eventually we stopped turning off the tv after the movie ended.
And then it became a habit. Albeit an uneasy habit, at least for me.
Somehow it doesn’t feel like a Sabbath. It feels like a way to wait out the day. To make it pass quickly so we can get back to our regular routine. And it doesn’t fit well with what we are trying to accomplish with the day. Is sacking out in front of the tv all afternoon more worthwhile than going to a museum together or allowing Newt to play at a friend’s house? Absolutely not. We could do so much better.
So on Sunday morning, while Mr. Frantic and I were still lying in bed, we had the following conversation:
Me: I’d like to have a tv-free afternoon today after church.
Him: Again? We just had one a couple of weeks ago. Remember we played Monopoly?
Me: And wasn’t it fun?
Him: It was ok, but I’d rather just relax today.
Me: Well-
My sentence was interrupted by Newt cannonballing into our bed. And the conversation was over.
Fast forward several hours. We just got home from church. I am making myself a sandwich. My husband switches on the tv.
I sigh and resignedly sit down on the couch next to him to watch Marc Summers explain how chocolate-dipped strawberries are made.
And then…a Sunday miracle:
The cable goes out!
And the phone.
And the internet.
He grumbles a bit at the high winds outside, but I secretly rejoice.
I gather up our girl and we begin making Ginger Pear Muffins in the kitchen.


She puts on her chef hat and chatters to me as she peels pears. I teach her to level off dry ingredients with the back of a knife and she beams with pride.
“Mom,” she says, “I feel really good about me right now.” Me, too.
As we are baking the lights begins to flicker. I hope the power will stay on until we are done. Please. Please. Please…
The lights go out just as I pull the golden-brown muffins out of the oven. We giggle at the perfect timing.
The three of us sit at the table to eat warm muffins and make homemade valentines by the flickering light of an kerosene lantern. Newt comments that her valentines are way better than the ones we saw at the store, and her dad and I agree.
The house is so still. Peaceful. Reverent. Like a Sabbath should be.
After the last valentine is signed we take our lantern in the living room where Newt gives us an impromptu piano concert.
Mr. Frantic and I snuggle under a blanket on the couch and listen to Row, Row, Row Your Boat. It sounds wonderful.
After a time, our daughternotices that we are cozying up together without her. This is not to be tolerated. She wedges herself between us and asks to play a game. I suggest one from my childhood that we have never played before. It’s a word game about the pioneers called “I’m Going Across the Plains”. The game seems fitting for the atmosphere surrounding us.
We take turns saying what we will be bringing with us “across the plains”. Each new item must start with the next letter of the alphabet and all the prior items must be listed.
“I’m gong across the plains and I’m bringing an apple, a bat, a cat, a doll, an egg-beater…
It is challenging to remember all of the items we are bringing. We laugh as the items become crazier: Gatorade, Mustard, a yellow-bellied scruffy squirrel. Our daughter’s eyes shine in the lamp light.
By the time we finish, it is time for bed. My husband and daughter use a flashlight to find their way up the stairs, but I pause at window and look out. All of the neighbor’s homes are dark. I wonder how they have entertained themselves for the past few hours.
Were they cursing the darkness?
Or had they, like us, found it to be a blessing?
I hope for them that it was the latter.
The flashlight is still chasing shadows on the wall as I ascend the stairs to kiss my girl goodnight.

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good words

Written on February 7, 2008 by in His Tender Care

30 tiny moments day 6:

A list of spelling words that Abby wrote on her white board. I love her handwriting. It’s so determined. In case you were wondering, she got 100% on her test.

And day 7:

Abby started reading the Book of Mormon on her own this week.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Book of Mormon is a book of scripture, a companion to the Bible (we use the King James version, both Old and New Testaments).
I called her into the bathroom to brush her hair for school. She brought her book with her and told me that she was trying to read it. She is in first grade and reads on a, brace yourself, a first grade level.
Out here in the east, that means I should probably hire a tutor. What kind of parent am I, allowing my daughter to be only on grade level? A good one, in my own humble opinion! But I digress.
Scriptural language is hard. Abby is only able to read about 60-70% of the words in any given verse and I’m sure her comprehension level of those must be quite low.
But… she said it makes her feel good. She even took it on the school bus to keep reading. And that made me feel good too.

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the ending of an era

Written on January 31, 2008 by in His Tender Care

From lds.org:
“Beloved Church President Gordon B. Hinckley, who led The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through 12 years of global expansion, has died at the age of 97. President Hinckley was the 15th president in the 177-year history of the Church and had served as its president since March 12, 1995. For more information, visit the Newsroom.”

I remember when President Hinckley was sustained as president of the church. I was not quite twenty at the time and just starting out my adult life. Now I am 32, married and a mother. The past 13 years have been a time of great transition. I have changed. The world has changed. But President Hinckley has remained constant as a source of truth, leadership and direction.
In October of 1995, just seven months after his sustaining, President Hinckley, along with the other members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, issued “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”.
Two months later I married and five years after that, after much heartache and trial, my husband and I had the joy of welcoming our daughter into our family. Through the years, the words of this great document have inspired and taught me in my developing roles as a wife and a mother. Take, for example, these passages:

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”

“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

The application of these words have brought much peace and joy into my life and strength to my family. And I know they will continue to do so as I strive to better live the values taught.
On September 11, 2001 the world changed. I was a young mother looking forward to Hannah’s first birthday. My cares and concerns to that point were largely for family matters. Turning on the tv to the earth shattering violence that fall morning brought home greater fears. My personal prayers brought a semblance of peace, but I had another source of comfort, a refuge in the storm.
Less than a month after the attacks the leaders of the church convened for our semi-annual conference and President Hinckley spoke these words of encouragement and direction:
“Now, brothers and sisters, we must do our duty, whatever that duty might be. Peace may be denied for a season. Some of our liberties may be curtailed. We may be inconvenienced. We may even be called on to suffer in one way or another. But God our Eternal Father will watch over this nation and all of the civilized world who look to Him. He has declared, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord” (Ps. 33:12). Our safety lies in repentance. Our strength comes of obedience to the commandments of God.
Let us be prayerful. Let us pray for righteousness. Let us pray for the forces of good. Let us reach out to help men and women of goodwill, whatever their religious persuasion and wherever they live. Let us stand firm against evil, both at home and abroad. Let us live worthy of the blessings of heaven, reforming our lives where necessary and looking to Him, the Father of us all. He has said, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).
Are these perilous times? They are. But there is no need to fear. We can have peace in our hearts and peace in our homes. We can be an influence for good in this world, every one of us.”

I think his words are just as appropriate today as they were seven years ago.
Gordon B. Hinckley will always be remembered for his warm hearted wit, the tender love he showed for his sweet wife and his sorrow at her passing, and his encouragements and exhortation to just try a little harder. I am a better person because of him.
I could go on and on about his teachings and accomplishments, but I will leave it here. Though I will support and love the new president completely, President Gordon B. Hinckley will always have a special place in my heart.
I miss him already.

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