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I Remember

Written on September 9, 2011 by Simply Heidi in The Way It Was

Newt is growing so fast. I can’t believe she will have a birthday next month. Is it possible that she is almost one? She won’t be a baby much longer…
It’s about eight in the morning on the west coast, but Walt has not gone into work yet. He is going with me to have our new forward facing car seat correctly installed at the dealership. Right now, he is out on the driveway, cleaning out the car.
I’m inside, in our bedroom, getting Newt dressed for the day. I hear the phone ring and walk over to answer. The caller ID informs me that it is Walt’s mom. I cradle the phone on my shoulder so I have both hands free to snap Newt’s onesie.
Good morning, Bonnie.
Heidi, are you watching tv?
I hear fear in her voice. No. Why? What’s going on?
The Twin Towers in New York were both hit by planes. They have fallen down. America is under attack.

I don’t understand.

What kind of planes? Were they some sort of military plane? Did some country declare war on us? In my mind, all I can imagine are big WWII bombers, flying in formation over New York City.
I don’t turn on the tv. I can’t. I need to tell Walt first. He lived in New Jersey for two years. The World Trade Center was just across the harbor from him. He’ll understand what’s going on…
…but he doesn’t.

The Twin Towers have fallen over? That’s not possible, Heidi. You have no idea how big they are. My mom must have gotten it wrong.
He rushes inside ready to hear the news confirm that the impossible has not happened. To hear them say that it is all a big misunderstanding, that the world has not been turned upside down… I follow behind, holding our baby.

Image source: FEMA Report

Image source: Unknown

We sit in stunned silence, too shocked to speak, as the images sear themselves forever into our minds. Confusion reigns supreme. It wraps itself like a cloak around the news anchors desperately trying to report facts, when facts are in short supply…
around the dazed bystanders, covered in dust and walking like zombies…
around me.
Why did this happen? Who would do this?
What kind of world will my baby grow up in?
After a few moments, Walt switches off the television; we have an appointment to keep. Car seats are important. We want our baby to be safe, yet I can’t help but wonder if we are fooling ourselves.
We don’t speak much on the ride over. We just listen. The car radio is much the same as the television. No one knows anything, but speculation continues.
Is there a significance to the date? Nine-eleven for nine-one-one?
How many thousands have been killed?
How many are trapped, waiting for rescue?
I resolve to go give blood later that day. I want to do more, but what? There is no answer…
I pray for the victims, the families, America.
Later, we are home again. The television is on. I am both repulsed by what I see and compelled to keep watching. I can’t seem to stop crying, both from sorrow and pride.
People jumping from the upper floors…
The heroes of flight 93…
Families holding hopeful photos of missing loved ones…
Tributes to the police, fire-fighters, and Port Authority…
Stirring words of comfort from both Rudy Giuliani and President Bush…
A fiery, gaping hole in the Pentagon…
The news rolls on. I am not the same.
In the days to come, I will feel a greater connection to my fellow humans. I will swell with pride at the sight of flags being posted all over town. People will treat each other more gently. Americans will feel united in a new way. New facts will come to light, but there will be few real answers.
I will worry.
And then slowly, things will begin to “normalize”. The flags will come down. Tempers will flare. Our country will become more divided than ever. Most of us will commit the crime of forgetting.
I will commit the crime of forgetting.
Who can think of death, and terror and loss when there are bills to pay and dinner to be made?
And yet, there were so many. 3,497 people died that day. To them I say, I’m sorry.
And for them, I take time to I remember.

Remember with me this weekend. Learn more about the victims of 9-11.

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Adventures of Heidi – Outdoor Edition

Written on August 25, 2011 by Simply Heidi in Adventures of Heidi, The Way It Was

Read other Adventures of Heidi stories here.
Once upon a time there was a Heidi. When you were as old as Heidi was in this story, you were only eight. Nine if you were a late bloomer.

Heidi’s mom cut her hair. Heidi’s mom was not drunk when she used her haircutting “skills” to create Heidi’s “hairstyle”, but she might as well have been.
Sometimes people would say to Heidi’s parents, “That’s a good looking boy you have there!”
This was offensive to Heidi for three reasons:

To the best of her knowledge, Heidi has never been a boy.
Heidi was wearing earrings! How could the people not notice the totally feminine earrings?!
Even mistaken for a boy, Heidi was not all that good looking. She knew the people were just trying to be polite.

Heidi had eight brothers and sisters. At the time of this story, only Heidi and two brothers were living at home. Heidi’s parents wanted to have all of the siblings get together. At the same time. At the same place. Eight out of the nine children agreed to meet in Utah for a camp out. One sister wisely declined.
Sidenote: Heidi’s siblings have still never managed to all be in the same place at the same time. Heidi fears for what might happen if they were. It is possible that a hole would be ripped in the space-time continuum. Or that someone would get their feelings hurt and leave in a huff.
Anyway, Heidi went on the family camp out, because she was eight (or nine) and had no other choice. Besides she was a good little ~~boy~~ girl and wouldn’t want to defy her parents.
At the time.
There would be plenty of time for that as Heidi got older.
Many of Heidi’s siblings were much older than Heidi. They were married with children of their own. Some of their children were not much younger than Heidi.
I interrupt this story for a joke: Do you know what is special about a Mormon wedding? The bride is not pregnant… but her mother is! wah wah wah wah waaaah!
On this camp out, one of Heidi’s brothers thoughtlessly brought his daughter, Brooke. Brooke was Heidi’s nemesis because:

She was little (emphasizing Heidi’s no-longer-littleness).
She was cute (see above).
She had long, dark, curly hair.
No one ever thought she was a boy.

Heidi tried not to be jealous, but could not help rejoicing when it was deemed that Heidi and her 11 year old brother were old enough to sleep out by the fire. Alone. Without Brooke.
After a few ~~dozen~~ s’mores, everyone else went to bed in campers.
Heidi’s brother was recovering from mono and slept about 42 hours a day. He dropped off right away and began to snore. Loudly.
Heidi looked at the stars for awhile, then closed her eyes and began to drift off.

Suddenly! Heidi heard a noise!

It was a VERY LOUD crunching noise. Not totally unlike ~~a giant gnawing on a skull~~ a larger than average person stomping through leaves.
Heidi was no dummy. She knew the law. If there is a boogie-man out to get you and you close your eyes very tight and lie very still, he will be unable to see you.

The crunching grew louder. It seemed to come from all around the campsite.
Heidi risked a peek.
The campsite was being attacked by ~~malformed lizard silhouettes!~~ skunks!

Heidi clamped her eyes down tight. There must have been ~~a hundred~~ at least five of them!
What choice did Heidi have but to lie still and wait for morning?
She did not move a muscle. She did not open her eyes. Even when she felt paws on the side of her sleeping bag.

Eventually, Heidi must have passed out from fear. When morning came, the skunks were gone.
Heidi could not wait to tell her family about her terrifying ordeal.
Their response was unexpected.
Yeah, right.
I think you dreamed it.
Her mono-stricken brother was ~~awakened~~ questioned. He had slept through it.
Nothing could convince them of the truth. Heidi had spent the night being held hostage by a roving gang of skunks and no one believed her!
Later, Heidi’s family had a family award ceremony. Why? Who knows.
Brook, Heidi’s nemesis, received none other than the Little Miss Sunshine Award. It was a big bag of candy.

Not the actual Little Miss Sunshine Award.
Heidi won the Stretches the Truth Award. Here is her prize:

The moral of this story is: Um… er…
Okay, so this story has no moral. It is completely ~~hopeless~~ pointless.

In other news, Newt and I are going camping this weekend. Walt has to work. I hope there are no skunks.

Epilogue: Brooke grew up to be a lovely woman, despite being spoiled by too much love and candy.

The End

PS: Here is actual photo evidence of the camp out. So you can not say I made it up. I’m the blonde ~~boy~~ girl on the the left.

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Bridges

Written on August 11, 2011 by Simply Heidi in The Way It Was

When I was about 16 I had a conversation with my mom that went something like this:

Me: Mom, can I [insert ridiculous request here]?
Mom: No.
Me: But Mooo-ooom, Harmonie gets to do it!
Mom: Well, if Harmonie jumped off a bridge, would you want to do that too?
Me: Mom! Harmonie did jump off a bridge today. Right after I did.

Here in Oregon, where I grew up, the North Fork of the Santiam River was a huge summer attraction to my friends and I. It was cool and it was deep, just perfect for jumping off the overpass bridge.

I hadn’t been up there for years, but early this week Newt and I got the itch for some summer fun. We made arrangements with some friends to meet up at one of the most beautiful places ~~on the Santiam~~ in Oregon – Three Pools.

On the drive up, I choose not to stop at the bridge (because that is dangerous! what was I thinking?!). Maybe on the way back, I think, we’ll stop and take a look.
We arrive and I look around. It shouldn’t be a surprise, but it is. After all these years, nothing has changed.

The weather is cooler than I had hoped for – I’m not sure if the thermometer will even crawl past 70º, but that doesn’t stop the kids from jumping into the cold mountain water.

I’m not at all sure I want to brave that cold water, but eventually I give in. I wade in freezing-cold chest-high water (screaming like a little girl) for an awkward photo op:

And then run right back out for my towel.

There I sit, with the other mamas, talking about homeschooling and parenting, recipes and books while the kids have their adventures.

I realize something as I sit there. Something has changed about this place.
Me.
The last time I was here, I was young and fearless with the world at my feet. I was living dangerously close to the edge, desperately wanting to jump into my life even if it meant a cold swim against a hard current.
Now, as a woman in my thirties, I’m living a different sort of life than the one I may have imagined at 16. I’d rather lounge in the sun, take my time, enjoy stillness when and where I can find it.
My 16 year old self would probably find me boring.
I would tell her not to confuse adrenaline with happiness.
She wouldn’t listen, choosing instead to learn everything the hard way.
I look over at my own daughter and hold out hope that she will be different – that when she comes to the bridges in her life, she’ll at least look before she leaps.

My 16 year old self laughs at me for the thought and I choose not to stop by the bridge on the way home either.

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I think the bleachers must be made of iron

Written on July 3, 2011 by Simply Heidi in Family Activities, The Way It Was, Where I live

I’ll admit that it’s been a few years since we went to a Fourth of July rodeo, but how is it possible that in that amount of time, this

Turned into this

Walt and some of the other police officers from his agency were working security detail at the rodeo all weekend. On Friday night, Newt and I went out to say hello. Since he was busy looking for bad guys, busting up fights and making sure the ~~drunks~~ fine people coming out of the beer garden weren’t causing any problems, he couldn’t join us for the carnival and rodeo. However, he did look quite nice in his uniform, so I forgive him.
Last time Newt quickly became bored of the actual rodeo and started itching for the Ferris wheel. This time, after saying hello to Walt, I took Newt on the Ferris wheel straight away.
Here is a little photo essay of the experience:

Thank you, Mama. I really, really wanted to ride the Ferris wheel.

Sure looks a lot higher close up…

This is going to be…fun?

Is it supposed to move like that?

Don’t move, Mama! You could shake us!

Don’t take pictures! You could drop your camera!

Don’t look over the side!

Ahhhhh!

Thanks, Mama. That was fun!
(Sidenote: I absolutely love that she calls me Mama.)
After the Ferris wheel it was time for the rodeo to begin.

Newt was mesmerized. She hardly blinked through the whole thing. Even the lady in front of us getting pooped on by a bird didn’t distract her (much). We sat on the hard bleachers for three hours, not hardly even moving until after the fireworks.
Newt has new dreams of barrel racing and rodeo court.
Me? Two days later, I still have a sore bum.
Neither one of us can wait for the next one, but I think I’ll bring a cushion.

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Going Home

Written on May 30, 2011 by Simply Heidi in The Way It Was, Where I live

When I was a little girl, the town I grew up in had a big parade every spring. I loved it. We lived close enough that my brothers and I would go early and ride our bikes along the route, searching for just the right place to sit. Proximity to the ten-cent hot dog stand was high on our list of important factors. We tried to remember to wear clothes with pockets for stashing all the the candy and coupons that would be thrown. And I still remember the year a local chiropractor gave out coupons for a free elephant ride after the parade. It was a highlight of my childhood.
Even though I don’t live there any more, we live close enough to go to the parade every year. Walt, Newt and I drove over early so we could get a spot close to the $2 hot-dog stand. I don’t eat a whole lot of meat anymore, but I did snitch a bite. Yum!
Here we are, waiting for the fun to start:

The sound of sirens always signals the start of the parade as local Police and Fire Departments lead out. Then came the sound of marching bands.

We loved these guys. Their costumes were really cool and there was a guy marching alongside the riders doing rope tricks, but I missed getting a picture.

On second thought, I think I did capture a bit of him and his rope, right up front.
There were no elephants, but I think that’s the way this lady liked it:

I wonder if this is the bus I threw up on…

Instead of pockets, Newt brought a paper bag for candy. Sadly, we were positioned right between groups of little kids. No one wanted to throw any to Newt.

Until I started heckling.
Candy! We need some candy right here!”
It started coming more frequently after that, even if Newt had to run for it.

Hey! We’ll take one of those little toys too!

And then there was this, my worst nightmare come to life:

We had such a great time. The parade gave me the sweetness of nostalgia and such a great sense of community. I miss that where we live now.

It’s wonderful to share some of your favorite childhood memories with your own children. As much as I loved our years living on the east coast, it’s nice to be so close to home.
And free candy.

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Good Day

Written on May 5, 2011 by Simply Heidi in The Way It Was

When I was a little girl, I received a journal for my birthday. I faithfully wrote in it every day for a week or two before forgetting about it. Months later, when I found it in my closet (under my giant plastic charm necklace and fake Cabbage Patch doll), I sort of freaked. I had missed days in my journal! A lot of days! Crap! This would not do! What would my posterity think of me?! !!

I wasn’t about to let my future great-grandchildren know what a terrible slacker I was, and so I did what any reasonable person would.
I lied.
I gathered up a bunch of different pens (to add a realistic touch of variety) and started fabricating journal entries, one for every single day that I had missed. However, I wanted my lies to be somewhat honest (what good person doesn’t?) so I kept my entries generic enough that they could possibly have been true:
September 4, 1983 – Today was a good day. I was happy.
September 5, 1983 – Today was a bad day. I was sad.

After several pages of this, my little hand must have cramped up, because I started shortening my entries to merely say:
12/14/83 – Good day.
12/15/83 – Bad day.
And so on…

I filled in every day for months. Won’t my posterity find me ~~strange~~ ~~crazy~~ interesting?
I tell you this story, because I find that with the exception of one little post from a couple of days ago, nearly half a year has gone by without me writing here. But instead of going back and creating a bunch of good day/bad day posts, I thought I’d just stop in and say hi.

I’ve had some really amazing, good days and a fair share of heartbreaking, bad days over the last several months, but they are in the past. Today is all that really matters, right?
And today? Today was just fine.

PS: In case you are wondering, Newt and I do have matching t-shirts. They say “I never got my acceptance letter from Hogwarts, so I’m leaving the Shire and becoming a Jedi. source
If you like Harry Potter t-shirts, check out my freezer paper tutorial.

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Rootin' Tootin' Valentine

Written on February 12, 2010 by Simply Heidi in The Way It Was

The ~~best~~ most memorable Valentine I ever got was from Billy Sucow in the second grade. It looked something like this:

And said “Cowgirl, you’re terrific!”
Being the daughter of a “real cowboy”, I remember feeling so impressed. After all, how was Billy to know I was half-cowgirl?

What Valentines do you remember?

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A Whirlwind Romance, Part 7: Free Love

Written on February 20, 2009 by Simply Heidi in A Whirlwind Romance, The Way It Was

Catch up on the rest of the story here.

The next week was busy. I awoke early each morning and got myself down to the local college campus by 6:00 am. We had a tent set up there from which we would be preparing and serving the food for all 3500 conference attendees. My first job of the day was to turn on all of the ovens. From there I wiped down the tables, restocked the utensils and napkins, and began brewing coffee. Lots of coffee.
The conference was for distributors of a super-blue green algae nutritional supplement. And might I say, they were a tiny bit ~~delusional~~ ~~strange~~ different? Apparently, the local lake was the only place in the United States where this particular brand of algae was found, which drew these people in like some sort of hippie mecca. They frolicked in the nasty green scum at the edge of the lake and celebrated by having t-shirts made: “I swam naked in the algae today!” They smeared the goo on their faces and arms. They wore macrame halter-tops. (At least some of them did.)
Now this was back in 1995. Organic food was still a fringe idea. Most people hadn’t heard of free-range chickens or fair-trade chocolate. But these people had. Some of their dietary requests were new ideas to those of us serving them, but we adapted. The group was about 25% vegan, hence the large quantities of coffee. I’m not sure they ate anything that week other than coffee with soy milk and turbinado sugar, and super-blue green algae straight from the lake.
Now that I am older, wiser and more familiar with alternative food choices I have to say these people weren’t just vegans, they were super-vegans. Super blue-green vegans!
But you don’t care about that, you’re here for romance, right? It’s coming…
Breakfast began at 7:00 am. We finished serving dinner at 8:30 pm. I worked open to close with a two hour break in the middle of the afternoon. I wisely used this time to call W, write him love letters that I had no intention of delivering, and to plan our future.
Let’s see…it’s August now. We’ll say “I love you” in about a month. He’ll propose at Christmas and we’ll get married in the spring. I know that’s rushing things a bit, but when it’s right, it’s right.
The last day of the conference we set up a buffet picnic in the park. It was a beautiful day, hot but not too hot, with clear blue skies. Once the meal was prepared and people were serving themselves I found myself with a bit of free time. I sat down on a blanket to relax and soak up some vitamin D.
That’s when W drove up. I had decided to sell my car to my sister and he drove the 250 miles to pick me up. And pick me up he did! When he saw me, he raced up and grabbed me into a feet-off-the-ground hug and a kiss that causes several blue-greeners to burst into spontaneous applause.
It was good to be together again.
He hung out for the rest of the picnic, helping where he could, and then we headed back to my sister’s for the night. Julie spent part of the evening getting to know him before slipping off to bed early. Thanks, Jules!
We rented an unromantic movie, “Guarding Tess” with Nicolas Cage and Shirley MacLaine. Perfect for not really watching…
There we were, together on the couch with me leaning back into his chest and his arms wrapped around me. His lips softly brushed the top of my head and he whispered, “Heidi, I love you.” I turned to look at him and was touched to see tears in his eyes. His voice cracked a bit as he continued, “I’ve never said that to a girl before, but I do. I love you.”
Somehow, I was able to speak past the lump in my throat and reply, “I love you, too.”
H + W = Love
We not-watched the rest of the movie and then said goodnight. My brother-in-law was out out of town, so I quietly slipped into bed beside my sister. I tried not to wake her, but she stirred and groggily asked, “How was the movie?”
“Julie, he said he loved me.”
“Oh, that’s nice…” and she drifted back to sleep, unaware of what I had really said. But I lay awake for awhile, thinking.
He loves me.
To be continued…

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A Whirlwind Romance, Part 6: A Gift

Written on February 12, 2009 by Simply Heidi in A Whirlwind Romance, The Way It Was

The story starts here:
Parts One and Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five

My stomach was doing flip-flops, and not because of dinner.
W brought a little hibachi grill to the beach and had used it to prepare a delicious meal; Teriyaki Chicken, in case you were wondering. I hadn’t been nervous while we were occupied with eating. Between bites, we talked about our families, movies we liked, and what we hated about our jobs.
Now full, we both leaned back on our blanket and watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. Fluffy pink clouds drifted lazily in in the golden sky, but I could not relax. A cool breeze blew off the water, but I was sure that it was not the cause of my goosebumps. The surf pounded on the shore, but I could scarcely hear it over the pounding of my heart.
I was sitting on a deserted beach at sunset with my boyfriend. It was incredibly romantic. Hence my nerves. This was a prime setting for our first kiss. I knew it was coming. He probably knew that I knew it was coming, and yet it didn’t come. The conversation died down as the sky darkened and the stars began to wink on.
My mind raced.
Maybe he doesn’t want to kiss me yet. He might want to take it slow. But he already asked me to be his girlfriend, that’s not very slow. Maybe I have bad breath. But we both ate the same thing. Oh no, what if I have BO?! That’s it! I probably have BO and he’s grossed out and he regrets asking me to be his girlfriend and he only asked because I was stupid enough to bring up my little niece and nephew’s dumb little argument and he only wanted to be friends in the first place but now we’ve gone and ruined it and he’s trying to think about what to do abou-
“Heidi, what are you thinking about?”
“Me? Nothing. I was just noticing the first few stars coming out. Aren’t they beautiful?”
“Yeah, they are.” But he wasn’t looking at the stars, he was looking at me. “You should make a wish.”
“I wish you would kiss me.” Dang it! Did I say that out loud? This was becoming a bad habit.
But then I couldn’t think anymore because he was leaning toward me, his gorgeous green eyes on mine. I could feel his warm breath on my face and I leaned in a bit and closed my eyes. Then his lips were on mine, soft and hesitant…
Much later in the evening, we packed up the blanket and he drove me home. After kissing goodnight one last time on my doorstep, I crept in the house. I quietly tiptoed past the sleeping forms of my nieces and nephew camping out on the living room floor.
Such little angels.
W saw each other every night over the next week. I was going to need to stock up on chapstick. When I was with him, everything seemed right, like I had found a part of myself I didn’t even know was missing. But each night, when I came home, I was a mess of confusion. I had had a couple of boyfriends before, even once believing that I was in love.
But I had never felt anything as powerful as I was now feeling for W. Except, it was too soon. We had only known each other for two months, only dating for one week. I couldn’t be in love, not now. Not yet. Even so, I couldn’t deny what was happening.
It was wonderful, exhilarating, and frightening.
So each night I poured my heart out in prayer asking for guidance, wisdom, and courage. And asking to understand just what in the world was happening to me. The only answer I received was a feeling of peace which carried me through until the end of the next night’s date.
At the end of that first week, W and I had to say goodbye, but only for about a week. My sister worked for a bed and breakfast that was going to be catering a large convention. They would be feeding 3500 people three meals a day for five days. I agreed to drive down and do some waitressing.
My sister lived about 250 miles from me, a good four hour drive. I planned to leave right after work; W came in to say goodbye shortly before my shift ended. When I walked out to my car I noticed that he had placed a dozen roses on the windshield with a note that simply read “I’ll miss you.”
Before I even reached the interstate, I was sobbing. There was simply too much emotion in my heart. I cried for over an hour as I drove along. Finally, I pulled to the shoulder and prayed.
“Dear Father in Heaven, what is wrong with me? Why am I crying? And what is this thing with W?”
The answer came to my heart. “It is a gift.”
At that moment, all of the turmoil I was experiencing ceased. I got back on the interstate with a light heart and practically flew the rest of the way to my sister’s house. When I arrived, I was so excited that I jumped out of the car and ran up her sidewalk. My heart raced as I pounded on the door and when she opened it I screamed, “Julie, I’m getting married!”
She grabbed me into a hug and screamed back, “To W? What?! When did he ask you?”
“He hasn’t yet. But he will.”
To be continued next week…

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My Whirlwind Romance, Part 5: Naughty, Naughty

Written on February 12, 2009 by Simply Heidi in A Whirlwind Romance, The Way It Was

Don’t miss a single moment:
Parts One and Two
Part Three
Part Four

Remember how I told you that my social calendar was practically bursting with dates? Well, oddly enough, after the big double-date, my schedule completely freed up.
The surfer at work? New schedules came out and we didn’t have a day off together for the next month.
The cute fireman? His dad called to cancel our second date. The poor guy had to have an emergency appendectomy but didn’t want to stand me up.
Suddenly, I had nothing but time. And I knew who I wanted to spend it with.

A few days later, W came over to hang out.
At this point I knew I liked him.
And I knew he liked me.
But I didn’t know what that meant.
It was time to show him my fancy panties.

At least that’s what my visiting little nieces and nephew must have thought because they smuggled a pair out of my dresser drawer and…
Cut back to me and W in the front yard, washing my car. (What? I didn’t want him to get bored and my car was dirty.)
We hear the front door opening, giggling, and… wild, frenzied barking?
Suddenly, out runs Dudley, my family’s crazy terrier, and he’s acting even crazier than ever. He’s running, rolling in the grass and snapping at his tail. Only he couldn’t get to his tail because it was covered by, yup you guessed it, my fancy panties!

~~Indecent~~ Incident reenacted by Shasta

I was mortified, mor-ti-fied! I squealed, dropped my soapy wash mitt, and started chasing that dog. The problem was he didn’t appear to want to be caught.
I went left; he went right.
I zigged; he zagged.
I ran; he ran faster.
Finally, I cornered him by the rose buses. And then I grabbed my ~~his~~ those panties and started to pull them off. Only, they weren’t exactly empty.
Ewww!

No, it’s not that.
It’s much weirder.

I started to pull them off and out jumped a bullfrog!
A huge, bulgy-eyed, very relieved bullfrog. In my fancy panties. On the dog.
(Confidential aside: Welcome to my blog google pervs. Please consider getting some therapy. Thank you.)

I screamed. W laughed. Really hard.
But I was in a pickle – should I laugh too? Or follow my instincts and go beat the living tar out of those children.
I decided to laugh, not only because it was funny, but more importantly, because I really liked him and I wanted him to think I’d make a good mother someday.
Oh yes, I had it that bad.
But don’t think for a moment that those terrible, rotten, nasty, and oh-so-creative kids were off the hook. I just held back my wrath until W went home.
[insert evil laugh here]
The next day W and I went on our first official date. When he came to the door to pick me up, who should greet him but two of the tricksters from the day before. This should be good.

Niece, right in front of W: “Aunt Hei-di! Your boyfriend is he-ere!”
Nephew: “He is not her boyfriend!” (My nephew was five, adorable, and hopelessly in love with me. He was planning on buying me a “white dress with diamonds” and marrying me when he grew up. The idea of me having a boyfriend was highly offensive to him.)
Niece: Yes he is!
Nephew: “NO HE IS NOT HER BOYFRIEND, STUPID-HEAD!”
Me: [highly embarrassed blush as I slink out the door]

Between the two incidents, the one with the dog was actually less horrifying. I mean, W wasn’t my boyfriend. I might want him to be… maybe. But did he want me to be his girlfriend? Just a few days ago we were H + W = BFF. Were we ready for just H + W ?

I got in the car and we set out on another long drive, this time to the beach. We listened to the radio and made small talk as he drove, but all the while I was silently praying “please don’t bring up my bratty little relatives…please don’t bring up my bratty little relatives…”
And then I opened my mouth to say something, I don’t know what, but not this, “So, did you hear my little niece and nephew arguing about if you were my boyfriend or not?”
Wha-? Did I just say that out loud?
He was kind of quiet for a moment.
Why did I say that?!
He wasn’t looking at me.
Was I insane?!
Finally, he spoke. Keeping his eyes on the road, W quietly asked me, “Who was right?”
Oh. My. I think that even my toes might have been blushing as I replied, “I don’t know.”
And then he reached over, took my hand and said, “Heidi, will you be my girlfriend?”
I answered with a brilliantly phrased, “Okay.”
But my smile? It was speaking volumes.
To be continued tomorrow (spoiler: first kiss coming up)…

**No frogs or dogs were injured in the events described. The children, however? They got an earful. And my thanks.**

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